Smash
Season 2, Episode 7: Musical Chairs
– Posted by Sage
The Smashbash lives for another week! I sadly can’t report a miracle ratings spike, but we’re not at the point of cancellation yet. Instead, NBC is moving it to Saturday nights in April. (Said my friend Sam: “Are there even shows on Saturday nights?”)
As the episode title suggests, there was quite a lot of role-shifting in this week’s episode. And actually, we kind of ended up with teams that make a teensy bit of sense. Well done, Smash! Logic is your friend.
Let’s catch up with our favorite hapless musical theater folk!
We begin with Brooklyn Jimmy, clad in a stylish low-cut tee, singing with generic free spirit roommate, who is ostensibly intended to replace Karen in Hit List.
He’s Blake, the lighting designer, btdubs.
Those kids are just…bouncing on chairs. Smash doesn’t even know how children work.
“Really? I don’t see it that way at all.” Well then, it’s a good thing you’re not the DIRECTOR, isn’t it, Karen?
“Derek isn’t here anymore.” “Yeah, I know.” You’re not the boss, Karen.
“It’s like we’re speaking different languages.” Unknown lead doesn’t get along with the director? I have a solution.
“PEANUTS. HOT DOGS.”
I’m sorry, that new choreo happened in one day? Nice job, invisible choreographer!
“Without the right person at the helm, this ship will go down.” NOW you think directors matter?
There’s a Rent poster in Scott’s office. In case you missed the last 17 hints that Brooklyn Jimmy is the exhumed genius of Jonathan Larson.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s not good with feedback. We’ll do whatever you want.”
“I don’t see what is so bad about putting up a show in an 80 seat theater and seeing how it goes.” This is the first lucid thing Brooklyn Jimmy has ever said. Did he go off his meds too?
Dangerous Liaisons plays its first performance to dead-silence. Come on, Smash. People pity-applaud at even the most tragic failures.
“Gwen Verdon would have left if Fosse quit.” Excuse me?
“The boys need to grow up.” TRUE.
“Of course, he sent you here to come check up on us.” Here comes Karen, the wise old Broadway sage, to drop some knowledge on these newbies. If I squint, she looks almost like Mike Nichols.
“The theme you’re looking for is already there. It’s about reinvention.” I thought it was about a bunch of starving artists living and loving on the Lower East Side? Fiiiive hundred twenty five thousand six hundred miiinnn-no?
Julia and Scott know each other and something is up with that. I can tell from the trademark Smash anvil-size hint.
“I’ve never done this before. I’m still learning.” Tom, my love. YOU ARE THE DIRECTOR. YOU WROTE THE GODDAMN SHOW. And now you’re GROVELING to KAREN? Have some self-respect.
“I wish I could get out of this show. I really hate it.”
“Let’s have some fun, like in the old days like before you went off your meds.” GOOD NEWS! More actors are just deciding to completely overhaul their own productions, and there’s not a director in sight.
“Is it ahmahzing? How high do you belt?” Seth Rudetsky!
“Of course she does, she’s a star.” I’m gonna need people to stop saying that.
“I don’t think we need to scream what it’s about in every scene.” Brooklyn Jimmy is like, “SLOW DOWN, SHADES! “THAT THING YOU DO” IS A BALLAD!”
“You really loved him, didn’t you?” Pretty much a useless, throwaway line in anything ever. Only used to state the completely obvious.
“I’m not going to lie. Seeing the two of you together makes my heart beat faster.” *shudder*
“I’m not threatened, just incredibly frustrated.” Aren’t we all, Tom. Aren’t we all.
Terry and Ivy decided, ON THEIR OWN, to make Liaison broad again and somehow, in one day, changed the orchestrations, choreography, performances of all their castmates, Terry’s SINGING VOICE, and got some live sheep on stage.
“Your number was the only thing in the whole show that makes any sense.”
“I’m not your Marilyn, she is.” And now, the first lucid thing that KAREN has ever said.
“You’re a class act, you know that?” Remember when she couldn’t cross a street?
“For some inexplicable reason, I still believe in you two.” How sweet.
“I just quit Bombshell.”
“Unfortunately, Liaison will close this Sunday.”
IVY IS OUR MARILYN AGAIN!
“I hear-by bequeath my choreography and my blessing.” And my body? #SmashSlash #Justdoitalready
“May Bombshell be everything we ever hoped it would be.”
“If you can’t live without it, neither can I. End of conversation.”
Another decent Hit List song with incredibly boring staging. And a fan in Karen’s face.
“If this is the direction the show is going in, the mainstage is yours.” He doesn’t even need to read, hear, or see the whole thing to know!
“Your hair is…” SMOOTH, BROOKLYN JIMMY.
“Karen and I have a history.”
“And when I direct I tend to get focused on something…or someone.” As little as I understand TWO men being this enamored with someone who has all the character of a rolled-up, discarded Playbill, I’m kind of intrigued by this story. Against my will.
So we’ve got Derek and Karen working on a half-finished blackbox show and Tom and Ivy on a half-finished Broadway musical. But in Smash world, we know that somehow they’ll both be miraculously finished and their praises will be song by all the critics that the producers can talk into making guest appearances. And now, we wait for the inevitable Tony showdown between Ivy and Karen. Ughhhh, and Karen is going to win, isn’t she? I quit.
Last year I totally hated Ivy.. but I think that they have done a great job with her this year. She and Tom are the only characters I don’t want to punch in the face. I also think that Eileen is kind of awesome too.
The rest of them are useless. Which is really sad because on paper this should be my most favorite TV show of all.
BUT I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT SHE DIDN’T THROW HER DRINK IN JERRY’S FACE. Season One Eileen would have done so. -K
I watch Smash just to get your hilarious bash. It’s well worth it :).
That makes us BEYOND happy 🙂 -K
Hahahaha, that is so satisfying. Thanks, Jackie!
I love that Goldblum gif more than I can say. I will use it for things.
Sometimes I think I should actually watch Smash. And then I think, “No. I get everything I need right here.”
And I do. THE FUNNEH THE GIFS THE PERFECT CANNOT BRAIN NO MORE
(thank you for sacrificing yourselves for our happiness)
We are television masochists! -K