It’s almost the day of the show, y’all! San Diego Comic Con is just over a week away. Surely the city is neck-deep in preparations for the hordes of nerds about to roll in from all corners of the world. It’s our second ever SDCC, so we’re coming back a little seasoned, a lot wiser, and very well-educated on the danger of sand fleas. (Hall H line: bug spray is your friend.) The full schedule dropped this weekend, so we’ve been honing our own. Read on for a sneak peek at the panels and parties we’ll be live-tweeting from SDCC 2016, plus our craziest fantasies and sensible expectations of what they’ll entail. –Sage
Wildest Dream: We have very little concept of what preview night entails, since we were ensconced in the Hall H line the whole time last year. So our wildest dreams clearly entail getting all the exclusives and swag we want in one fell swoop so we don’t have to lug purchases around the rest of the con.
Expectation: We go home early because this one is on America’s Got Talent that night.
Classic Nickelodeon Animation Panel
Wildest Dream: We’ll be launched back into our childhoods by the sheer force of nostalgia. No bills, no periods, no Tinder matches who text gross things after seeming normal for a while.
Expectation: Every millennial at the con will be in this room.
Moana: The Art of Story
Wildest Dream: Lin Manuel Miranda will make an appearance; jump on the dais to perform “My Shot”; and then stay for two hours afterward to take selfies with everyone.
Expectation: Some footage, MAYBE a clip of one of the songs.
The Good Place Screening and Q&A
Wildest Dream: We’ll get to meet Mike Schur and thank him for making inclusive comedies with diverse casts that make us feel like the world isn’t a four-alarm trash fire 24/7.
Expectation: We’ll skip this entire thing to get into the Mr. Robot line.
Wildest Dream: One or both of us will be lured back in to this show.
Expectation: We’ll ogle Josh Holloway and get spoiled on the first season.
Wildest Dream: Sam Esmail, Rami Malek, and the rest of the cast will be able to answer any audience question about season 2 without being cryptic and vague.
Expectation: Upon realizing she’s breathing the same air as Rami, Sage will cease doing so and therefore die.
Fandom Comic Con Party
Wildest Dream: There won’t be a line to get in. The swag will be sick. The promised “celebs” will be B-list or above.
Expectation: We’ll get shut out and have to eat overpriced rubbery burgers at the actual Hard Rock Cafe.
The Big Bang Theory Writers Panel
Wildest Dream: Chuck Lorre and crew do an hour-long apology for how this show ACTUALLY makes fun of nerds instead of celebrating them. Mayim Bialik returns and does a sacrificial bonfire of all the misogynistic scripts.
Expectation: Graeme Burk storifies our snarky tweets again.
Wildest Dream: Creator Hart Hanson makes a surprise appearance and reveals that Sweets ACTUALLY isn’t dead but has been in Witness Protection this whole time and he’ll be returning for the final season.
Expectation: We get an hour-long LOVE FEST as this long-running favorite says farewell to SDCC ahead of its final season. We get the season finale spoiled for us since it will have just aired the night before.
Wildest Dream: Ricky Whittle will storm the panel, demanding justice for Lincoln with Alycia Debnam-Carey at his side carrying a banner for Lexa. Everyone holds Jason Rothenberg accountable for how the show went off the rails this season and he says it was all a fever dream.
Expectation: Ricky and Alycia are too busy STARRING ON THEIR OWN SHOWS to be bothered with this. Rothenberg is let off the hook since the rest of the cast fears for their jobs. Bob Morley’s shoulders are broad.
Wildest Dream: Danny Pudi and Vanessa Hudgens grace us with a song and dance number. Danny says “Cool. Cool cool cool.” at least once during the panel.
Expectation: We find ourselves completely endeared by this comedy, dooming it to cancellation.
Wildest Dream: Our queen Gillian Anderson and our BFF Orlando Jones are last-minute additions to this panel.
Expectation: Ricky Whittle charms the whole room. Bryan Fuller wears an outrageous suit. We see a sizzle reel for the upcoming premiere.
Wildest Dream: Graeme Manson tells us he was just kidding with that whole “Next season is the final season” thing. Tatiana Maslany does the whole panel in character as Helena and/or Krystal.
Expectation: Jordan Gavaris’ natural speaking voice fucks us up once again. Everyone worships Tatiana for the goddess that she is whilst the lady herself gets SUPER bashful about the praise. There is either a party or a protest regarding Tat’s Emmy Nomination. We’ll know which way that cookie crumbles on July 14.
Wildest Dream: Our dear friend Samuel Anderson has let HIS good buddy Dominic Cooper know how awesome we are and WE become friends with Dominic too, bringing us one step closer to becoming best friends with James Corden. THE HISTORY BOYS, Y’ALL.
Expectation: Joe Gilgun (Cassidy) having a British Accent as opposed to an Irish one FUCKS US UP. Dominic Cooper smolders.
Wildest Dream: Benedict Cumberbatch drops by, since he’s in town for the Doctor Strange panel.
Expectation: We drink too much wine and start saying “Am I a pretty lady?” to each other.
Do we attempt to get into Hall H?
Wildest Dream: We easily snag wristbands the night before, get a few good hours of sleep, and are content to be in the back fourth of Hall H for the whole day. They have hot dogs.
Expectation: Marvel and WB blocks mean that people will have been camping out all day and night and our late night (also probably drunken) attempts to squeeze ourselves in will be for naught. But you never know until you TRY.
Dressing the Characters Costume Panel
Wildest Dream: Outlander costume designer Terry Dresbach will announce a very affordable Claire-Fraser-in-France collaboration with Kohl’s.
Expectation: We’ll be forced to picture Sam Heughan in the Fraser tartan and miss him very much.
DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
Wildest Dream: We’ll begin to care about Ray, CanaryCold, or “the Hawk people,” as Kim calls them. Any season 2 sizzle will show that the production has SCALED DOWN to something manageable.
Expectation: Arthur Darvill will be wearing a t-shirt with one or more cats on it. Wentworth Miller will be a delight.
Wildest Dream: Andrew Kreisberg will announce that they were just kidding about Henry being dead. Jesse will serenade the panel and drop every panty in the room.
Expectation: The “video presentation” will be mostly a recap, but a few new characters will be announced. Everyone will ask about Flashpoint and no one will give a straight answer.
Dance Party at Nerd HQ
Wildest Dream: We’ll convince the DJ to play One Direction and everyone will thank us. Some of the fancy famous will descend from the VIP soiree to dab with the unwashed masses.
Expectation: We’ll get progressively more and more grumpy at every person/anime sword that bumps into us and leave in a huff.
Wildest Dream: Benny Batch, still in town from doing the Doctor Strange panel, makes an appearance. Martin Freeman does too, since his wife is already on the panel.
Expectation: We’re given a premiere date for Series 4. Steven Moffat makes some problematic comments.
Wildest Dream: They will promise to stop killing the women of the show off in the name of man pain.
Expectation: We’ll probably be reading fan fic the whole time as we wait for the next panel.
24: Legacy and Prison Break
Wildest Dream: Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller admit that they are playing siblings Michael and Lincoln as Captain Cold and Heatwave. Keifer Sutherland, in town for the Designated Survivor panel, makes an appearance to literally pass the torch to new leading man, Corey Hawkins.
Expectation: Sizzle reels and the continued charm assault of Wentworth Miller, who is shaping up to be the MVP of SDCC 2016.
Anything Goes with John Barrowman
Wildest Dream: Anything we could imagine would be too tame for a John Barrowman panel so we’re not even going to try.
Expectation: See “Wildest Dreams”.
Wildest Dream: We get an hour of all the best songs of the series.
Expectation: Oh, wait. That’s totally going to happen. Then Kim will learn what a deprived childhood she had from never watching this.
What are you most excited for regarding SDCC? Will you be there or will you be virtually experiencing the con on your couch? Let us know in the comments and be sure to follow us on Twitter (@HeadOverFeels) and Instagram (headoverfeelsdotcom) for all your live updates during the con!