I’m as intrigued by the details of the Best Picture mix-up as everyone else, but the real mystery is WHO WAS THE GUY ON THE RED CARPET IN THE PINK TUX?
Listen, I hurt my wrist trying to pause the TV at just the right angle to capture him so please do me a solid and help identify him because I love him. Hands down, fave male look of the year. Okay, let’s talk dresses.
BEST
Taraji P. Henson
Does it get any better than this? Sleek, sexy, elegant. Navy velvet, darlings, not black. The slit. That neckline. And those diamonds.
AND GOD BLESS HER FOR MAKING RYAN WAIT. She’s well worth it.
Auli’i Cravalho
This is quite possibly the best Oscar debut I have ever seen. I am in love with this dress and she wears it so well. I preferred this to the performance gown:
It has some structural issues with the bodice, yes? But I think that only stood out to me because the white and gold is flawless.
Ruth Negga
The queen has arrived to greet her subjects. No, seriously, check out the crown headband:
GORGEOUS. My only nitpick with the entire look is the earrings, which I noticed she took off at some point during the ceremony, so I feel validated.
And one last lingering look for the train.
Brie Larson
Look at her, she knows she nailed it. FINALLY. Where has this flair for the stylish dramatic been hiding?
This is the kind of moment I’ve wanted for her, I loved it.
I think we all felt for Brie when she had to hand the award to the problematic (let’s say) Casey Affleck for the second time this season, so let’s pause to appreciate this lovely moment between her and Emma Stone after Emma’s Lead Actress win:
Supportive female friendship always makes me feel better. You?
Emma Stone
Speaking of Emma, here we have another FINALLY moment. I wasn’t into the literal City of Stars gown for the Golden Globes and it’s best not to remember the SAG Awards look, but showing up in gold to collect your gold statuette? That I can get on board with. The top looks a little to me like the shape of a vintage bathing suit, but in a way that I respond really well to. And the fringe! I love a dress that has movement.
Viola Davis
Hello, gorgeous. Now, I don’t know how I’d feel about this neckline on someone else, but she’s pulling it off. I love this shade of red on her and the gold accessories were the perfect complement. I don’t even mind no red lip is how much this whole look is working.
Side note, is that her actual engagement/wedding ring because I absolutely love when people do that.
Meryl Streep
So at first you think, “Wow, Meryl looks amazing in this Elie Saab, suck it Karl Lagerfeld.”
To which, of course, she’s like “thank you, thank you.”
BUT WAIT:
PANTS YOU GUYS IT’S PANTS IT JUST GOT SO MUCH BETTER.
And THEN you think maybe your love for Meryl has reached peak levels for the night.
And you would be wrong.
Kirsten Dunst
B O M B S H E L L
I love the necklace.
The SHAPE of this gown, my god.
Pockets!
Red lip!
Shoes!
She killed.
Amy Adams
Tom Ford finally came through for Amy Adams, you guys. Look at this shimmery perfection.
This construction detail at the back interests me, I want to see more of it but I think she skipped the carpet because she didn’t get the nomination (which I’ve heard she absolutely deserved for Arrival).
But she’s not letting it ruin her good time. Cheers!
Chrissy Teigen
I love almost everything about this, but I think it was the sheer sleeve that really sold me. Honestly, I would change up the bodice a little, but the white and gold sparkles are so great on her and I’m really into the cape and the slit and the everything. Also, her earrings were definitely my favorite of the night.
WORST
Hailee Steinfeld
Me to Hailee’s face: “Oh my god, I love your dress, where did you get it? Designer, so adorable.”
Me behind Hailee’s back: “That is the ugliest effing dress I’ve ever seen.”
Dakota Johnson
Is that an Ivanka? (Shout-out to our friend Kerry, who texted this to me during the award ceremony. I’m still mad that I didn’t think of it first.)
Naomie Harris
I’ll admit, she almost got me – at first, I thought “oh, pretty, this is interesting,” but it was just her dumb beauty and poise luring me in. This is… not great, Bob. I mean, were you expecting to see a starter bra cape gown when you tuned in on Sunday?
Leslie Mann
ZAC POSEN IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
Felicity Jones
Washed out, washed up ballerina.
MEN ARE BORING: OKAY, FINE
Riz Ahmed
I’d like to announce the winner of the 2017 Oscars Blue Tuxedo-Off (right down to the shoes, guys!).
Mahershala Ali
To me, he is perfect.
Dev Patel
Well, this is completely unfair.
COMPLETELY UNFAIR.
Sunny Pawar
I MEAN.
John Cho
Would you look at this dapper Henry Higgins motherfucker (shown here with lovely wife Kerri Higuchi, sorry ma’am, no disrespect meant).
Pharrell Williams
This is ridiculous but I like it. Maybe he’s like my male Nicole Kidman.
Ryan Gosling
THIS IS AN ATTACK.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
FUCK OFF, HONESTLY.
I would just like to point out that this section is incomplete without pink tux guy. Seriously, please help me identify him.
SUPERLATIVES
Quote of the Night: Tarell Alvin McCraney
When Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney won Best Adapted Screenplay for Moonlight, Tarell said, “This goes out to all those black and brown boys and girls and nongender conforming who don’t see themselves, we’re trying to show you you, and us.” Listen, our country has made some backwards progress lately, shall we say, so I can’t imagine the impact this kind of statement has right now, and I’m humbled to listen.
On a sartorial note, I’m sad to report that this tux does not appear to be the pale pink I thought it was when I was watching on Sunday, but it’s still amazing.
Life Partners: Michelle Williams and Busy Philipps
Look at these gorgeous, stylish ladies.
See, supportive female friendship does make you feel better.
They shouldn’t remake FIRST WIVES CLUB, but if they ever did…
I’m really going to miss this beautiful-on-the-inside-and-out trio next year. So when I saw Vulture’s tweet, I was immediately drawn to the idea and consulted Sarah, my writing partner on the FWC Life Lessons post. While we would both be fine with any combination really, Octavia as Annie is our first choice (that quiet strength), then Taraji as Elise (diva with a heart of gold) and can you imagine Janelle with Brenda’s snappy quips because I really can.
Most Handsome Young Man: Lin-Manuel Miranda
HOW PRECIOUS WAS HE. Enthusiastic, grateful, bashful. And dapper to boot!
I’ll Drink to That: Shirley MacLaine
How can you not love a broad in a sparkly pant suit?
I like her but she has so much earrings on her: Charlize Theron
I admit, I stole this from the child of a friend of friend because it is so apt. SO MUCH EARRINGS ON HER. And they don’t really seem connected to the dress to me?
And I love this dress, although it might broaden her a bit? But the EARRINGS. And that PONYTAIL. No.
Oh, no, you don’t understand, this is an Alaia: Scarlett Johansson
I know Azzedine Alaia is like a totally important designer, but I don’t really get this.
Seriously, when will the sheer skirt’s reign of terror come to an end?
Although who wasn’t delighted to see Cap and Black Widow seated together? No offense to their dates, but why didn’t these two just bro-ttend together?
And Denzel, seriously, you would look so much prettier if you just smiled once in a while.
Can You Ever Just Be Whelmed? Nicole Kidman
Guys, I miss the parrots.
I Just Think It’s Funny How: Emma Roberts
Emma chose this vintage Armani gown as part of the Red Carpet Green Dress challenge, which, okay, is admirable. Setting aside the fact that 2005 is considered “vintage,” I think the top is a little revealing for the Oscars (get off my lawn, Emma!) and I’m not wild about the tier toward the bottom, but you know me and black and white. So I just think it’s funny how Emma laughed uproariously at the memory of telling her aunt Julia to wear the “skunk” dress the year she won for Erin Brockovich. I know we don’t use the CD word, but I might need Emma to calm down a bit (seriously).
You’ve Got a Friend in Me: Alicia Vikander
At first I thought this song was an odd choice to play as Alicia came on stage to present, but then I realized that she DOES have a friend in me because I always love her looks and want to include them, and this divine black is no exception.
Snore: Isabelle Huppert
I can tell I’ve been rewatching too much Real Housewives of Orange County when this is the only reaction I can muster to this look:
Really? Jennifer Aniston
I personally think it’s a little on the nose to wear black to introduce the In Memoriam, but at least the dress is a little slutty?
I also have to do a Seth and Amy style “really?” about the hair and makeup because it’s just so monochromatic. I’m over it. GIVE ME LIPSTICK. GIVE ME A SMOKY EYE. SOMETHING. ANYTHING.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears: Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting
Every time. Even when she doesn’t show up.
I Can’t With This Bitch No Matter What She Wears Runner-Up: Jessica Biel
It’s so annoying watching her try to have a personality.
SHE’S RUINING JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE FOR THE REST OF US.
What were your Best and Worst looks of the Oscars? Let us know in the comments!
I feel like this is the most we’ve disagreed this awards season, and at first I was like “oh no!” but then I was like…this is a story. Keeps things spicy. On to my patent-pending Soulmate Level Agree—>Maggie, WTF? No awards:
Soulmate Level Agree: RUUUUUUTH. Mostly because that’s the kind of thing I expect you to hate but I want to immediately add to my own closet despite knowing full well it would look just absolutely awful on me. I feel like this is the same explanation I gave for my last SLA, but I don’t care.
Maggie, WTF? No: Honestly, I don’t feel like anything really warrants this one this time around, but I DON’T MAKE THE RULES. So: Three-way-tie (HA PSYCH I DO MAKE THE RULES) between Brie Larson, Emma Stone, Amy Adams. WTF(ish), Maggie? No(ish). LISTEN. I don’t hate any of them, but I really don’t like any of them. Each has something or other that keeps me from loving what would otherwise be absolutely killer dresses, and that bums me out hard.
Confession: I love that racer-back-ruffle thing on Hailee’s dress I’M SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT. Hate the rest though, so don’t file friendivorce papers yet.
Taraji’s dress on anyone else could be kind of boring, right? Like, can you imagine Sofia Vergara wearing it? I’d be so bored I wouldn’t even notice the absolutely fucking flawfless fact that it’s NAVY GODDAMN VELVET. God Bless Taraji P. Henson is what I’m basically saying.
I have way too many other reactions, but most of them are GOD I KNOW THAT DRESS/TUX IS LIFE AFFIRMING, so I’ll just stop with: John Cho’s pants are too short, but I can’t be mad at that handsome human-shaped bottle of swoon.
I agree his pants are a SMIDGE short but I’m blinded by his face. -Kim
I think the wearer of the look makes or breaks it. I think if someone like Keira Knightley had worn Ruth’s gown then I might not have liked it as much. So I definitely see your point on Taraji.
Don’t worry, those friendivorce papers aren’t being filed, WE’RE KEEPING THINGS SPICY
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Oops turns out a few of my too many other reactions won’t let me live, so here:
1. WTF, Jennifer Anniston? NO. Nothing new to add to what you said, Maggu, I just can’t stop being smad about this. Not a typo.
2. I am so in love with the fact that Sunny Pawar didn’t button his jacket.
3. At some point in my history of having an opinion on Emma Roberts, I found myself unexpectedly really liking her. That was years ago (was she in a Scream movie? I think it was during one of those) and I haven’t watched much of her stuff since, so I’m open to the idea that my positive opinion might be outdated. But basically I cann-fucking-ot with Julia Roberts and her phony, over-the-top enthusiasm that’s not actually enthusiasm but just insisted-upon attention in an opened-mouthed costume, so I’m a fan of anything that can be perceived as making fun of her. Including her niece’s very un-CD pose next to her Oscar win pic.
I know it seems like I’m late with this but really I’m not because it’s always Time For Shanleigh’s Opinion.
First of all I am personally offended by the exclusion of Cynthia Erivo from this list, because she had probably the best dress of the entire night, and you KNOW it had to be good for me to say that because this whole blue velvet situation we are having right now has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and added ten years to my lifespan. I think Taraji was my favorite LOOK, but Cynthia’s dress was drool-worthy. I too did think that TPH’s dress was black when I saw it on TV, which was a shame.
I already tweeted this but Auli’i Cravalho has…not replaced, but joined Tavi Gevinson in the file of Girls Who Are Younger Than Me Whom I Nevertheless Want To Be When I Grow Up. The performance gown was, yes, not as good as the carpet gown, but it was visually striking and worked perfectly into the aesthetic there. Also can we talk about how she put Idina Menzel to fucking shame (hmm, guess I didn’t know I was still hung up on that).
I go back and forth on Ruth’s look but I do sort of recognize that is only because it is a dress I would never ever choose for myself. I respect that it is a Look and she seems so self-assured in it. Her makeup is also a thing of beauty. Let’s please send this to Sophia Bush’s people so they can see there is a way to reflect the red/pink palette of your ensemble in your makeup without making it look like you’ve contracted an ocular disease.
Living for Brie. The fit and the drama are a home run. Fun fact, she has been into K’s restaurant several times and I have never seen her because life is garbage.
I have to be honest, I was a little underwhelmed by Emma’s dress. Could she not give me a jewel tone once in this, Her Awards Season? Something to set off her skin, PLEASE. I also almost always hate a drop-waist, so that didn’t help.
Viola was a definite yes. I am usually the one who’s “meh” over her gowns while everyone else is raving about them, probably partially because one-shoulders are almost always a miss for me, and I’m often bored by the lack of detail even though she goes for exciting colors. I think the neck adds just the right amount of interest and is incredibly flattering on her. And do people not wear their actual engagement/wedding rings on the carpet often?? Fuck if I’m taking mine off for anyone.
Meryl, KiKi, Chrissy all looked good without wowing me.
I can’t support Amy Adam’s choice of full sequin because of my association with high school show choir and the cold sweats I now experience in the presence of sequins.
I thought Hailee’s dress was an improvement on the last purple dress she wore, but the sheerness is a problem, which you can really tell from the side view here. Like I know she’s 20 now, but if she wants a dress that scream “I’m an adult,” a 7-year-old’s dream prom dress combined with the sheerness of an old-school JLo look was not the way to go.
I think Dakota Johnson has made my own “I can’t even with this bitch” list. Also this dress is legitimately awful. Is she trying to distance herself from the 50SoG thing?
Naomi was just boring, Leslie’s biggest problem was color, Felicity’s color was also blah and the fit seemed really bad. Like, her dress almost made her whole torso appear blurred and her waistline appeared much wider than it is.
No major comments on the men, except that I’m sorry but Gosling’s ruffled shirt needs to die in a fire. I respect him for wanting to change it up a little, because it must get almost as boring for men to wear the same-ish look to all the awards shows as it is for us to see it, but no. No no no.
Skipping through (finally)…I did not notice Charlize’s ponytail until this post. FURIOSA WHY.
The print on ScarJo’s Alaia reminds me very much of a Betsey Johnson dress my sister wore to a Valentine’s Day dance when she was in middle school circa 2000. I was obsessed with that dress, wanted it as a hand-me-down, and was devastated when I never grew quite large enough for it to fit me. This is like that dress’ bastard child. Can we all agree that if you DO want to try a sheer skirt, there should be a ban on skin-colored mini-length liners?
I’m still very proud of my “HANDS CHANDLER A LAMP” reaction to BFFs Chris and ScarJo sitting together. Later on in the show there was a shot of ScarJo with a seat-filler next to her and I was so disappointed. Also Sunny Pawar’s dad appear to be taking a quick nappy-nap, so let’s give Chrissy Teigen a break.
Nicole’s dress in another color could have been a winner but this almost exactly matches her skin tone. Like, Nicole, as a fellow pale lady I feel your pain, but we have to accept our limitations as penance for our shining alabaster complexions.
Emma Roberts is also on my “this bitch” list. I think I’ve said this before but I maintain it — the problem with Emma Roberts is that she so desperately wants to be this classic Hollywood Woman of Substance but just lacks the poise, grace, and eloquence to pull it off. She’s like a little girl, dressing up because she wants to be just like her glamorous aunt but not realizing that the glamour comes from within. And she ends up sitting on the edge of trashy.
Alicia’s outfit looks like a costume worn by one of the girls from my old burlesque troupe. Pass.
I will fight you on Isabelle Huppert. I thought she looked amazing. I do think the color looked a little richer on TV than it does in this picture.
I think the biggest problem with Jen is that she looks like she didn’t really think about how revealing that dress was and realized what a huge mistake she’d made when she was actually on the stage. Like, does that body language not read like she’s trying to hide how much skin she’s showing?
Has Jessica Biel always been so bland? I guess the fact that I’m even asking that tells me that she has.
Others that were not included in the post: I thought Kate McKinnon looked really lovely even if her dress was a little forgettable. Kelly Ripa’s dress was marvelously constructed but I hated the butterfly appliques. Sara Bareilles’ performance dress was nicely appropriate (and how AMAZING was that performance), though we obviously didn’t get to see much of it because we saw the slides, and her red carpet dress was a triumph.
Now if you’ll excuse me I just spent like an hour writing this and I’m getting married in a week so I should probably go do some productive stuff (but really I’m going to watch Riverdale in bed).
BRB gotta go rewrite your ceremony to focus more exclusively on how wrong you are about Gosling’s ruffles.