A Gallifreyan Salute to Every Whovian’s Favorite Late Night Host

Craig Ferguson Dalek

Posted by Sage

Yesterday, the man who described Doctor Who as “the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism” announced that he’ll be stepping down from The Late Late Show in December. And just like that, American Whovians lost their greatest chat show ally.

Well, not yet. We still have eight months of CraigyFerg at 12:30am; plenty of time for him to get on David Tennant’s Gracepoint press schedule and welcome back his friend Peter Capaldi, this time promoting the eighth season of Doctor Who. But what are the chances that his replacement will keep a TARDIS on his (her?) desk or celebrate Matt Smith’s first appearance by twerking on a full-size Dalek? Well, consider this post one vote for Chris Hardwick.

Chris Hardwick Craig Ferguson Doctor Who

Ferguson has been an ambassador of Who to this country, and his evangelism no doubt played a small role in the show’s increasing popularity here. We’ll miss his off-the-cuff references, the memorabilia casually strewn about his studio, and, most of all, his interviews with Doctors, companions, and fans, which made Who feel like a super-cool but welcoming club – one we all wanted to get into.

In honor of Craig Ferguson and his service to the fandom, let’s relive his sit-downs with some of our – and his – favorite people.

Craig Ferguson I wear bow ties

Matt Smith

Smith-dog (blame Kazza – I didn’t make it up) has been on the show several times, but his first appearance on The Late Late Show was also his very first American talk show spot. Ferguson rolled out the red carpet for him, dedicating the entire episode to the mad man with a box. Matt and Craig discuss important issues of the day such as whether the on-set Dalek is a boy or a girl (“It’s wearing a big metal dress…but it’s covered in balls.”) and have an awkward “threesome” when Hardwick shows up in a Tom Baker scarf. (Seriously, Hardwick – is your agent on this?)

Karen Gillan

Another frequent guest, Kazza always charms Craig with her tall ginger queenliness and of course, their common heritage. In this appearance, which happened right after Karen’s move to LA, he assures her that Scottish people don’t have to “get involved” in SoCal’s juicing culture and assures her that he’s not offended by her teasing. (“It’s alright, I’ve been mocked by redheaded Scottish women before now.”) Not a lot of Who talk since Amy and Rory had already had their close encounter with a Weeping Angel at this point, but Craig does call Matt “David Bowie” for at least the second time.

Jenna Coleman

Back when she was Jenna-Louise Coleman, Craig welcomed the shiny new companion to the show.  He congratulates her on the gig and on being the “sauciest” in the Doctor’s long line of fellow travelers. He does not, unfortunately, congratulate her on bagging Robb Stark. Jenna throws a bit of that sauciness his way when she calls Craig out for having a not entirely up-to-date blue box on his desk. “Thanks for criticizing my TARDIS, new girl on Doctor Who.” He’s secretly thrilled.

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“The sun is rising over a sea of love and waffles and possibility.” – Parks and Recreation Recap

Michelle Obama Leslie Knope High Five

Parks and Recreation
Season 6, Episode 21: Moving Up, Part 1
Season 6, Episode 22: Moving Up, Part 2
Posted by Sage

“We just have a general idea of what is going on in the world, and we have some general ideas for what happens to those people over the course of this future season, but until we really get back in the room, I’d really prefer not to try to commit to anything too soon. It just sort of like shuts up creativity. … I have an idea for the final image, the final scene and the final image of the show, and I have no idea whether that’ll be the final image or not.” 

Is there a more thoughtful or collaborative showrunner working on TV right now than Mike Schur?

Parks and Rec closed out its sixth season with a massive shake-up. But because this writers’ room values character and story over “gotcha” moments, the unprecedented three-year time jump felt earned. No fear of the unknown here. Don’t get me wrong: the pervasive sense of impending doom in your Breaking Bads or your Mad Mens is as much a creative triumph as the opposite. But being a Parks fan means respite from TV-induced anxiety. We can safely love these characters without fear or restraint; we know they’re in good hands.

“Could Leslie have it all?” was the question set up by the back half of this sixth season. And in the season finale, she answered it for us. She can kick ass at work and raise an adorable family. She can move up in the world and stay in her hometown. She can get bangs and fire Jon Hamm.

Parks and Rec triplets

Knope-Wyatt bbs!

As soon as Tom met Ron on City Hall’s newly remodeled third floor, I knew where the Midwest office of the National Parks Department was moving. Was the move a cop-out? I say no. First of all, Leslie decides early in the episode to take the job. With Michelle Obama calling you to action, how can you walk away? Yes, she gets cold feet about the merger and leaving her friends, but I fully believe she would have ultimately gone. I think it’s important that we saw that. And secondly, Leslie has always believed that Pawnee was destined for greatness. For six years, she’s been grooming the town for big things – beyond Harvest Festivals and Unity Concerts. She successfully transformed Pawnee into a home that none of her friends and coworkers want to leave. How quickly would first season April or Tom or Donna have packed their bags if they’d been offered jobs in Chicago?

Parks and Rec sentimental people

The case is successfully made, to us and to Grant. It’s no coincidence that Grant happened to be in town for the Unity Concert before he agrees to run the “Best Option, Hands Down” proposal  “up the flagpole.” He’s no fool. He wouldn’t just take Leslie’s word for it that Pawnee is the greatest town throughout history, till the end of time, forever. He sees it in action – a massive civic project that may have been supported by Leslie, but was conceived and pulled off (with considerable flair) by Pawnee itself.

Parks and Rec Unity Concert Ginuwine

And what a show it was. The Unity Concert’s eclectic line-up reminded me of those big, free outdoor concerts that my college activities committee would put on every year, though we were never graced with a holographic Lil’ Sebastian. Ginuwine’s rededication of his biggest hit to the greatest equine citizen ever produced in Pawnee was by far the funniest moment in the episode – possibly the season. I mean, Lil’ Sebastian is a mini-horse and not a “Pony,” but why split horsey hairs? Apparently full songs from The Decemberists, Yo La Tengo as Bobby Knight Ranger, Ginuwine, Wilco as Land Ho!, and Ben Wyatt’s favorite band, Letters to Cleo, will be showing up online soon and hopefully on the sixth season DVDs. Earlier this season, Ben wore a threadbare Aurora Gory Alice t-shirt on his day off – and without comment. This week he stood offstage and passionately sang “Here and Now” along with Kay Hanley. What other show cares about its characters this much?

Parks and Rec Here and NowParks and Rec Ben Kay Hanley

The best part about this besides Ben’s face and shirt and dance moves and total commitment is Leslie hightailing it outta there. Also, I’m as fond of the Melrose Place theme song as anyone born in the ’80s, but I’m hoping there’s an outtake of “Cruel to Be Kind” somewhere.

Parks and Rec Never Worked Hard

“What a cool life.”

Schur told EW in the post-finale interview that he and the writers sketched out two possible outcomes for every character after the three-year time jump: success and failure. I don’t expect to see much of the latter; everyone (Larry/Jerry/Terry aside) is flying pretty high in the finale. Tom is finally the V-Iest P in his restaurant, sandwiched in a booth between a ’90s R&B star and a hot chick. Ron has completely surrendered his whole self to his family, leaving him immune to the toxic charms of Tammy 2. (“Trollin’ for some Dad ‘D.'”) One of Ben’s geeky distractions finally strikes a chord with the chic nerd set. (“I mean, people are playing with my Cones, babe.”) April gets to delight in giving her family the news that she’s getting divorced, before re-marrying the love of her life – just for fun. And Andy has the best of both of his musical worlds: giving kids pee-pants and playing rock & roll with his friends. He worked so hard on this festival and he just has the purest heart of any of them. I’m so glad he got the chance to close it down. “I love this town so much, and I’m just so proud to live here,” he says, before launching into “5,000 Candles in the Wind.” He used to live in a pit.

Parks and Rec Lil Sebastian Reaction

Ben still doesn’t get it, and I hope he never will.

“It is my belief,” Ron tells Tom, “that you never start a job you don’t intend to finish.” That may be fine advice for making chairs, but it’s hardly universal. When it comes to building a family or enriching a town, that work is never done. By moving the regional office to Pawnee, Leslie doesn’t just get what she wants. She gives her town another opportunity to rise to the occasion and handle the influx of people and business that being a federal government hub will bring. JJ will have to hire more servers. Paunch Burger might need a second drive-through. Maybe Tom’s Bistro will have a few more locations in 2017. Perhaps Ben’s “big night” involves some kind of honor for creating the greatest RP game of all time? What a fancy new Pawnee for little Ann, Ron, and James Tiberius Knope-Wyatt to grow up in.

Ben Cones of Dunshire

There’s urgency and a distinctly more worldly feel to our sneak peek of Leslie’s life in 2017. Schur told EW that during next season – likely the last – the focus will shift from Pawnee politics to Leslie’s new, expansive domain. It’s a bold move. But with characters so rooted and well-defined, Parks shouldn’t be afraid of opening up. We shouldn’t be afraid of letting it. This little show has survived by always following Leslie’s maxim to “go big or go home.” And now it’s challenging itself again. Do Mike and Amy and their writers know exactly how this experiment is going to play out? No. But that’s never stopped them before.

Random Thought/B-Stories:

  • “We gotta break in there.” “They give tours.”
  • “Tom’s Bi.”
  • The Department of the Interior’s resident bad boy Liam Bonneville wears a leather jacket and is totally aloof praising Leslie’s now legendary proposal. HOW GREAT IS THAT.
  • I imagine that every tech start-up douche in San Franciso looks just like Blake Anderson. Well done, casting.
  • “Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Swanson.”
  • It has been way too long since we’ve seen my boo, Jean Ralphio. But he did not disappoint. “Ja boy’s a question on the bar exam, ya heard?” “No way, The Closer? Ooooft!”  “I WANNA GO HORSEBACK RIDING.” “Deal.” “Dadd-yyyy!
  • ‘Pleeaaasssase, Ron I never asked you for anything today.”
  • “YOU ARE FROM CHICAGO SO YOU LIKE IT.”
  • I don’t know who’s more OTP, Joan/Jean Ralphio or Craig/Jean Ralphio:
  • Parks and Rec Joan Medium Drink of WaterParks and Rec Craig Jean Ralphio
  • “And then after they give us the free WiFi, we tell them the treasure was love all along.”
  • “Merger, She Wrote.”
  • “I don’t know who I am! A man without a palate isn’t a man anymore! I love you, Donna!”
  • “I’m going to be paralyzed by hypotheticals until I die here in this minivan.”
  • “Wait. I’m on Endor…sorry, that’s not why we’re here.”
  • “I’m crying out of happiness and sadness and gratitude and because I’m carrying triplets and for a fifth reason that I can’t figure out.”
  • “Damn, Donna. Why you gotta bring the Quackson Five into this?”
  • “Hello. I’m Johnny Karate.”
  • Zoey called Ron “Daddy.” Tissues, please.
  • “Thanks, babe. You’re so good at reminding me where pizza is.”
  • By far, my favorite cameo of the whole finale: Barney from the accounting firm.
Barney accounting firm

“Okay…no, sorry. I can’t.” “Wow. Shortest one yet.”

  • So many adorable throwaway Donna/Tom friendship moments. Fist bump for these BFFs.
  • “I am so furious at you but I’ve already forgiven you and I need you to teach me to play the saxophone.”

 

Parks has always excelled at season finales, mostly because they usually haven’t gotten their renewal news by the time production times rolls around. With this seventh season renewal, they’ve been given the opportunity to close it out the way they want. With a whole season to prepare for Pawnee’s final farewell, just how epic will that series finale be?

We’ve thankfully got a long way to go until then. What did you think about the finale, readers? Are you pro- or anti- time jump? Leave all your thoughts in the comments and thanks for hanging out here with me all season.

“Certified playa status.” – The Mindy Project Recap

Mindy Project What encourages sex

The Mindy Project
Season 2, Episode 20: An Officer and a Gynecologist
Posted by Sage

For our amusement, Mindy has spent the last two seasons fraternizing with all types of guys, “from the tall and white to the short and white.” And what does she have to show for it but a box of stolen mementos and precious photos like this one?

The Mindy Project Danny Mindy Box

J/K. There is no other photo as precious as this one.

She’s got a fan. Jenny is an impressionable teenager who shows up in Mindy’s life just as Dr. Lahiri vows to put her box of guys and romance in general out of sight and out of mind. What better time to take on a mentee? She’s already her own role model, as well as Morgan’s rightful queen. (Don’t tell Grandma.)

Jenny wants to get on birth control, but her Conservative Cop Dad won’t like it one bit. Mindy sees an opportunity to inspire, telling the girl that young women such as they must stop letting men control their lives: “Dads, boyfriends, nutritionists who say, ‘Mindy don’t only eat steak.'” She’s not wrong, but as usual, Mindy fails to separate herself from the conversation. Jenny is what? 18? 19? She’s confused about everything, not just whether or not her dad has a say in her reproductive health. Mindy hands over her sweeping declaration and a few pill samples, congratulating herself on sending Young Jenny down the path to confident and flourishing womanhood. Conservative Cop Dad, who turns out to be HOT Conservative Cop Dad (helloooo, Tim Daly), hates gumption like Lou Grant hates gumption and storms into Mindy’s office to intimidate her into backing down.

Detective Charlie Lang’s threat to get Mindy’s name on the no-fly list falls flat for a couple of reasons, firstly because it means nothing to her (“Joke’s on you, I’m already on it!”) and secondly, because there are few greater joys that Mindy has in life than riding around on her high horse, even if it gets her a $300 ticket for “Public Female Hysteria.” (“They never took it off the books.”) It also gets her a temporary house guest, when Jenny shows up on her doorstep.

The Mindy Project Everyone See This

“It’s for walking while being a person of color.”

Mindy may not have children yet – anyone can see that, considering her 11-year-old boy hips – but she knows that the only difference handing a kid contraception will have on her sexual future is that it’ll be less fraught with risk. “Birth control doesn’t encourage sex,” she tells Danny. And it’s hard to argue with her list of what does. But what is fanning Jenny’s libido besides her frenzied teenage hormones is her longing to be a grown-up woman with stories. She wants a box of boy history like Mindy’s. And, with the exception of Josh the drug-addicted lawyer, who can blame her for wanting to sneak up in all the jeans of Mindy’s “trail of slain dudes”?

It takes Mindy coming home to an unsanctioned underage rager (and Morgan chained up as a sexual prisoner) to get her to see where her mentoring has gone astray. (“It’s like a cognac ad in here.”) Jenny may be physically prepared to do the deed, but she’ll ultimately regret having sex just to get it over with or for the right to put the first flannel shirt in her conquest box. It’s not a conquest box anyway; it’s a record of every time Mindy’s faceplanted in pursuit of long lasting love. She is anything but the “certified playa” she claims to be to impress Jenny. She’s a hopeless, headfirst, stupidly optimistic romantic who hasn’t slept with Christian Slater even once. Finally she tells Jenny what the kid really needs to hear: that being a ~modern woman~ and being a romantic aren’t mutually exclusive. Jenny desperately wants to have a chance to make a grown-up choice; what she doesn’t realize is that choosing to be picky – choosing to do nothing right now but wait for the good stuff – is a grown-up choice too.

Meanwhile, grown-up lessons wouldn’t be wasted on Danny, who hasn’t seen enough Three’s Company episodes to know that the dinner party fake out never, ever works. After valiantly saving a wizard civil war general rabbi from some rowdy subway youths, Danny doesn’t correct the old man’s assumption that he is the titular Dr. Shulman. His eyes flash dollar signs when Rabbi Adler dangles the “thousands” of nice, Jewish girls who come to him looking for a nice, Jewish gyno, and suddenly he’s yarmulke-ed up, his voice is cracking like Bar Mitzvah Boy over the Shabbos dinner blessing. Ironically, it’s Peter, actual son of A-bro-ham, who blows their cover. Or rather, his parents did, by not throwing a bris for little Peter (and little Peter) back in the day. They made up for it with his “Christmas in Connecticut” themed bar mitzvah, a rollicking, WASP-y good time, I’m sure. Rabbi Adler is less distressed than maybe he should be that his 13-year-old son left the dinner table and came back screaming about seeing a grown man’s penis (“It has a hood!”), but he still kicks the impostors out of his house. All is forgiven on the whatever train the next day (actually, my head canon is that Danny and Mindy take the 1, idk why) when the man of God thanks Danny for the new story in his family rotation and sees what Danny and his “girlfriend” have going. (“If what the two of you have isn’t real, I don’t know what is.”) Too bad Sally Prentice is nowhere to be found.

The Mindy Project Nothing More Jewish

“Welcome to the tribe, Daniel.”

Danny and Mindy are working their way back to each other. They’re having casual breakroom chats. They’re commuting together again. But their lies to Jenny and the rabbi this week have nothing on the lies they’re telling themselves. That “casual breakroom chat” devolves into a discussion of Danny’s bra-unhooking prowess, or lack thereof. Mindy can’t stifle a smile when Jenny finds the photo of Morgan and his “son.” (“When he wears a baseball hat, it makes him look like a kindergartner.”) Mindy gets her earbuds caught in her scarf (“I can’t see my neck!” “You’re like a pelican in a fishing net right now.”) and Danny looks at her like she’s the Yankees winning the World Series 15 years in a row. She talks about what kind of mom she’ll be some day and he gets all glassy-eyed and schmoopy imagining their future children. He’s toast and he knows it.

Danny Smile Mindy

Heart eyes, motherfucker.

I’ll hand it to Danny for not stringing Sally along. (Man vs. Guy.) When Mindy skips off to get her second bearclaw of the morning (“Didn’t you have one on the subway?” “I can’t hear you, bye!”), Danny finds Sally and gives her the old “we’ve gotta talk” routine. But he better make his move fast, or Officer You Wish might not have to wish much longer. Detective Charlie’s got an advantage: the “No Guys” rule doesn’t apply to him either.

The Mindy Project I'm not a guyThe Mindy Project I'm a Man

Good night, nurse.

Random Thoughts/B-Stories:

  • “I heard birth control makes you fat and cranky.” “So does pregnancy.”
  • “When I need to take the pill, I look upon the windowsill! Oh my god, I haven’t taken my birth control in like two weeks.”
  • Danny brandished a pink umbrella at some hoodlums and I swear I left my body for a second.
  • Strike up the Barry White, cause Rabbi Adler was played by Peter MacNicol, aka Ally McBeal‘s John Cage. Also, Janosz from Ghostbusters 2. I can see why he’s Messina’s favorite guest star yet.
  • “Mom must be proud.” “Who knows how to please that woman?”
  • “Susan Robinson?” “No, I’m Beverly Something.” BEVERLY SOMETHING.
  • “That’s worked up even for you. How many hours of energy did you drink?”
  • “No guys. Girls?” “I wish.”
  • You had me blindfoldedMindy Project Take a Break
  • “This feels weird to me. And I have no sense of boundaries.”
  • “My apartment is not a place for sensuality. It’s a place for repressed sexuality.”
  • Peter Prentice continues to be the Dandy shipper that puts the rest of us to shame.
  • “I actually zero out my fridge every night before I go to bed.”
  • Sending out an APB for Dr. Jeremy Reed, who’s been absent two episodes in a row.
  • “Man, just step away from the bear claw. The bear claw has been on the street. The street is covered in urine.”
  • “I couldn’t hear you over that coat.” “It is CANARY YELLOW.”
  • TIM DALY. GOD DAMN.

 

Two more episodes in the seasons, Mindy-ans. Thoughts on Det. Lang? Canary yellow statement pieces? How many bear claws are too many bear claws? Handcuffs? Who could pull Kiera Knightley first, Mindy or Danny? Leave them all in the comments.

“I am the Scandal.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Posted by Kim

Scandal 3 x 18

“The Price of Free and Fair Elections”

Sorry for the delay, Gladiators!  I’ve been in tech all week for Little Wars, which opens tomorrow in NYC (Get your tickets here!  I’m playing Agatha Christie!).  But don’t worry, I made time to watch this batshit crazy season finale!

In true Scandal fashion, last week’s bomb cliffhanger was resolved in the first ten minutes of the episode, leaving us to wonder just what WAS up Shonda Rhimes’ sleeve.  People died, Mellie drank, secrets were told, people were double crossed and there was illicit sex.  So basically…just your standard episode of Scandal.  To the gifs!

FAIR WARNING: this gifcap contains gifs from Season Four of Game of Thrones.  If you are unspoiled, first of all, congrats for living under a rock, and secondly TURN BACK NOW.

“It’s a miracle we caught this in time, isn’t it Cyrus?”  Jake knows what’s what and he KNOWS that Cyrus tried to get Sally blown to pieces.

The Bomb goes off right as Fitz yells “If there IS no bomb…”

Leo tells Sally this is her 9/11.  “Be Jesus.  Go in there and Be Jesus.”

Sally helping victims. 

“Don’t put the President of the United States on a split-screen!”

“GIVE THE PRESIDENT THE RESPECT HE DESERVES.” Which, to be honest, is none.

Sally leading prayers at the church.

“We’re going to lose the election on Tuesday.” 

“Let’s be honest.  We lost the election today.”  That plan of yours didn’t work so well, did it, Cy?

ANDREW IS ALIVE AND WELL.  PRAISE JESUS.

“I’m gonna lose?” Poor baby Fitz.

“I want a refund.  I want our money back.” Drunk and vicious Mellie is my favorite Mellie.

“I thought we hired her to WIN.” 

“Olivia, tell your dad what’s wrong.”

“I don’t like him, but Olivia,  I do love you.”

“When she stabbed you, I was scared.”

ABBY AND HARRISON WALKING IN ON HUCK AND QUINN.

“He got stabbed by Liv’s mom…which TURNS YOU TWO ON?”

“Voldemort gets away Scot free again.” 

“Voldemort gave you your job.” 

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“What’s goin’ down in Baby Town.” – Parks and Recreation Recap

Ben Leslie Triplets Reaction

Parks and Recreation
Season 6, Episode 20: 1 in 8,000
Posted by Sage

Triplets! Everybody stay calm.

Parks and Rec Ben Leslie Head Massage

Not one baby. Not two. It’s lucky number three for Ben and Leslie, which is just the kind of TGIF line-up choice I can really get behind. Also, Chris the MRI tech called it way back in season 2.

It’s like Leslie’s cuterus uterus knows. It knows that a Leslie Knope pregnancy should be at least three-times as metal as the average one. Leslie herself is unusually chill about it. And we mustn’t underestimate the competitiveness that courses through her veins; she’s also pretty cocky when she gets the news. For other women of her age, multi-births might be the result of a biological “going out of business sale.” For Leslie, they’re the great prophecy of her being mother to a significant portion of the Supreme Court fulfilled. (And, on Julie Andrews Movie Night, a decent Von Trapp cover band.)

Dr. Saperstein buddha on quaaludesBen alright alright

Ben, on the other hand, is having a moment. His numbers-obsessed brain can’t help but calculate what three kids do a couple’s finances and the outcome is, well, grim. He’s assigned himself to be Leslie’s stress ShamWow, soaking up all the worries so she can remain calm, cool, and collected, as advised by Dr. Saperstein. But he’s more like an anxiety factory, manufacturing panic where none existed before. Which is a shame, because he hasn’t allowed himself to be properly happy about his rapidly growing family.

Ben Wyatt Fucking Screwed

If tea parties and diaper changes can mellow out Ron Swanson, then Ben is going to be just fine. There’s a really touching Ron/Ben man-to-man talk in the near future – I can feel it – but for now, we have to settle for complementary storylines. We see Ron’s softening through Donna’s eyes when he asks for her help making costumes for the elementary school’s Pawnee history review and ends up playing Cupid to her and Joe, music teacher and kid-whisperer. (Think Sandy the Manny but with more sex appeal.) Donna’s resisted his charms because he’s too good to her. He makes her feel safe and cared for and appreciated and that means she has no need for the games she plays so well. And here’s our Swanson truth nugget for the week. It’s a good one.

Ron Swanson confuse drama

“Live your life how you want.”

Donna loves to razz Ron about being a big ol’ softy, but now he’s too far gone to even protest. “Your family has made you a more patient and pathetic person,” she says, and he looks the tiniest bit pleased. “It suits you.” It suits him so well that Donna herself may event take a stab at settling down. We’ve got to establish all these handy defense mechanisms just to make it through life, but we’ve also got to recognize when someone (or someones) comes around who’s worth dropping them for. Leslie, who usually thrives on stress, doesn’t need to hold onto it anymore.

Remember that Leslie lost her father when she was 10. She has a mother who was present, but not exactly warm. Before her friends even step up with babysitting offers and homemade cribs and hand-me-down clothes, she knows her kids will have a bigger, more loving extended family than she could have possibly imagined. They’ll have Uncle Chris and Aunt Ann and their cousin Oliver. And they’ll have Ben. She’s lucky. They’ll be lucky. Leslie questions herself often, but her faith in her husband is unwavering. What does she have to worry about?

In this future heart-to-heart that I’m 100% sure is going to happen, Ron is going to tell Ben that there’s nothing he can do to be completely prepared to be a parent. He’s going to tell him that being a father – that being a man – means letting yourself be changed by your children. He’s going to tell him that if he and Leslie lean on each other that they can do anything. And he’ll also tell him that no amount of money or macarons can possibly compare to being crowned King Sparkle of Cupcake Forest.

Random Thoughts/B-Stories:

  • From long cons on Keith Sweat to catfishing Anthony Keidis, the women of Pawnee have the men of ’90s radio on the ropes.
  • “I am Donna’s work proximity associate.”
  • “Happy Birthday Various Dexharts.”
  • Parks and Rec Andy Witness Protection
  • “I don’t have the gavel so I’m powerless. I respect the hierarchy of the auction!!” Stay forever, Craig Middlebrooks.
  • I hope the sheik and the lady with the diamond-encrusted eyepatch and the guy with the monkey on his shoulder show up the Unity Concert, preferably together.
  • “You have very weak hands.” “Why would you say that?”
  • Leslie calls a nurse Ann, and it sounds like this wasn’t the first time.
  • “We’re all dying, unless you choose the right grail. It’s the dusty one.”
  • So maybe some games are still worth playing:

Donna Parks and Rec Red Thing

  • “Benjamin Wyatt, man of my dreams, the one I love..”
  • Andy’s failed camouflage attempt.
  • “OH GREAT, FIRST MY COUSIN WINONA GETS INTO A CAR ACCIDENT THE NIGHT MY ONE-MAN SHOW OPENS AND NOW THIS . WHY ARE MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS ALWAYS OVERSHADOWED?”

 

The Parks crew has been teasing some crazy twists in the season finale. But what could be crazier than popping out three babies? If you’ve got an ideas, hit us up in the comments.

Under My Skin – Supernatural Recap

Supernatural Dean Shapeshifter

Posted by Sarah and Dawn

Welcome to our newest guest post series! Head Over Feels are finally filling our SuperWhoLock quota with “Salt vs. Sass: Dawn & Sarah take on Sam and Dean,” a Supernatural recap-a-thon! We’ll learn all about the family business through the eyes of veteran fan Dawn and n00b Sarah. They’ll be posting weekly, so now is the perfect moment to queue up your rewatch or pop your SPN cherry. Want to speak fluent SPN fangirl? Check out this handy Glossary of Terms.

Take it away, ladies! –S

Dawn Ferchak is a long-term Dean girl who occasionally has trouble resisting the King of Hell.

Sarah Bisman is an SPN newbie and professional crafter of one-line bios.

Sarah: This episode didn’t scare me so much as SQUICK ME THE EFF OUT. In honor of Passover, I blame canned gefilte fish for my total abhorrence of gelatinous substances. Also, this week hammered home how badly the Winchesters need a therapist. And some hugs.

Dawn: This week, I learned that even I have a gross-out threshold, that not even Jensen Ackles’ handsome face would get me to open the door when shit clearly AIN’T RIGHT, and goddamn, am I glad I’m a brunette. Also sewers are bad places. Just in case you were unaware.

Supernatural puddles

Season 1, Episode 6: Skin
Written by John Shiban

Smash super-recap complete with mom on the ceiling. But no flames! Jess, however, gets the flames treatment, which means we need a new flames gif just for Jessica. Let’s make it nice and romantic and stuff, since they were so in love and also we are cruel:

Roses burning

Dean’s hunting dad. Check. Sammy is looking for Jess’ killer. Check.

We’re in St. Louis, Missouri, (Chyron Check!), in a dark room, in which an unseen person with a hunting knife is torturing a whimpering blonde. Blondes do not fare well on this show. Search lights and moonlight reveal lots of blood, kind of everywhere, including a bloody handprint on the wall. Something Has Happened. Check.

Someone/thing walks by in the darkness. Like a shadow, i.e. SPN Life Lesson 8.

The SWAT team approaches the whimpering blond, and we see bloody ropes and handcuffs. Ew, and also creepy. She manages to convey that her captor is in the other room, and the authorities go off in pursuit. They catch the guy, who is about to leap from a window with knife in hand, and bellow the usual “Hands where I can see ‘em” TV-cop stuff. The guy turns toward the camera, and holy shitballs, it’s Dean, with some scary dead (sexy) eyes and a bruised/bloody cheek. Sarah says WTF psycho; Dawn says have that one washed and brought to my tent. You decide:

Shapeshifter Dean

Then we jump back in time to a week earlier.

The boys and Baby are at a gas station, where Dean ribs Sam for still keeping in touch with his college friends. Dean’s kind of amazed that Sam hasn’t cut everyone out of his life; Sam is kind of amazed that Dean is still playing the cool-lone-wolf card. Also Sam is checking his phone and email with a pointy plastic stylus, because it’s 2005 and there won’t be iphones for another two years. Ah, memories. Anyway, turns out Sam has an email from his old pal, Rebecca Warren, whose brother Zach has been arrested for murder. Of course, she thinks he didn’t do it. Of course, the cops think he did. Sam wants to head to St. Louis to check it out; Dean disagrees because it doesn’t sound like their kind of problem and also it’s 400 miles in the wrong direction. Oh, Dean. Time for SPN Life Lesson #20: It’s always a Winchester kind of problem.

The brothers drive off toward St. Louis. Dean isn’t pleased, until Rebecca offers him a beer. Sam, the buzzkill, refuses for both of them. Let’s call that SPN Life Lesson #21: Season 1 Sam will not have fun and you can’t make him.

Emma Roberts Tongue

Rebecca tells the tale of how her baby brother found his girlfriend beaten up, but was arrested when he called 911. He’s on a video from the security tape, which shows Zach coming home right before his girlfriend was murdered…but he’d have to have been in two places at once because he was with Rebecca drinking a “few” beers until after midnight. One person in two places at once? C’mon, Dean, that’s totally Life Lesson #20! Maybe you should check out the crime scene, just in case.

Rebecca, who has no idea how much disregard for real-world rules her old college pal actually has, suggests that perhaps this is not the best idea. And this brings us to our Alias of the Week, which is that Dean Winchester just happens to be an off-duty police detective from Bisbee, Arizona (which, for those of you who might care, is mostly a wee artist colony). Is it technically an alias if he’s using his real name? Sure it is, especially when he just straight out calls himself “an officer of the law” as they walk under the yellow tape and into the blood-spattered room. Seriously, there is blood everywhere. Everywhere. The apartment is decorated in lots of white, so it really stands out. Sam helpfully notes that if Zach didn’t do this, “it means someone else did.”

Sarah: REALLY, Sam? We totally thought it just happened this way.
Dawn: It’s that kind of logic that must have dazzled the Stanford acceptance committee. “Well, if you don’t accept me, it means you’d have to accept someone else.”

Rebecca is awfully calm for someone standing in a room full of all that’s left of her brother’s girlfriend, and she notes that someone broke in and stole some of Zach’s clothes about a week earlier. She also mentions that the neighbor’s formerly sweet dog has been fully psycho since the murder. Dean still isn’t buying it — maybe he’s still pissed about no beer — but Sam is convinced, and thinks Dean will be if they review the security tape. The security tape that Rebecca has conveniently stolen from Zach’s lawyer’s desk. Sarah thinks this makes her about 10x more interesting; Dawn thinks this makes her an awfully convenient and lazy move on the writers’ part.

Time to check in on Zach! He’s stalking a couple coming out of an apartment building. Of course, we know it’s not Zach because the real Zach is in jail. So, DoppleZacher watches from the shadows. He seems pleased, and his eyes glow yellow, which probably doesn’t bode well for the happy couple frolicking in the sunshine.

Back at Rebecca’s, everyone is viewing the security tape. Sam decides this is a perfect time to get peckish and sends Rebecca off in search of beer and sandwiches, though she reminds them this isn’t a Hooters. (Sam apparently had really terrible taste in bars back at Stanford.)

Of course, Sam’s really sent Rebecca off because he saw Zach’s glowy eyes and thinks it might have something to do with how he could be in two places at once. Dean seems into it. Or maybe he’s just happy he’s getting a beer. Could go either way, really.

Dean Seems Legit

Back to DoppleZacher. who is in the formerly happy couple’s apartment. We know it’s him because a) we are way smarter than Sam, b) of the ominous music playing so soon after a reference to him, and c) we’re in an apartment we’ve never seen where the male half of happy couple utters the innocent phrase, “Hi Honey, it’s me.” Oh, sugar. You picked a bad day to come home early. Also the reason you can’t find Lindsay is probably because she’s dead. Especially since there is blood smeared on the walls. Including more bloody handprints.

Sarah: Who’s making those? And why do they cut off at the edge of the wall?
Dawn: Uh, I’d be making them if you were trying to drag me out of a room.

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“Every part of it was an accident.” – The Mindy Project Recap

The Mindy Project Peter It's Fleet Week

The Mindy Project
Season 2, Episode 19: Think Like A Peter
Posted by Sage

You’re watching The Mindy Project and welcome to “Dating Tips From a Bro” with Dr. Peter Prentice!

Thank the giant elephant in the sky for Peter, because things are CHILLY on the Dandy front. And this leaves Mindy without her usual sounding board. We know she doesn’t do well “being alone with [her] thoughts.”

Danny doesn’t understand why he and Mindy can’t slip back into their pre-smoochy behavior, because the synapses in his brain have stopped firing or something. Gwen went the way the of fellow mysteriously disappeared cast member Shauna, and so should be showing up on The Crazy Ones any day now. Morgan and Tamara are busy in the pantry. Betsy and Beverly have differing views on spiders. And Jeremy isn’t an option, because Ed Weeks is on vacation in Barbados, I can only assume.

Peter seriously rubbed Mindy the wrong way on their first meeting, which makes the friendship they’ve recently eased into all the more satisfying. Spiders and pantries and Barbados aside, the rest of the Shulman cast of characters are just too unusual to be viable BFF candidates. And maybe seeing that there’s more than one cute, dark-haired doctor willing to give Mindy closed-door counsel when she’s prostrate on her floor might knock some sense into Danny. My heart aches for the miles and miles that have opened up in the few yards between their two offices, but on a series-level, the change in dynamic is a good one. Peter was sort of drifting as a character. Now we know who he is. And from the look of Mindy’s Instagram feed from yesterday, our Dandy pain is only for the moment.

I see you and your Peter/Mindy shipping, Tumblr. And yes, Pally DID look super cute in his Popeye hat. But Peter and Mindy are far too alike to be together romantic-styles. Think about it: they both look at dating as a full-contact sport. They’re both a little shallow. And I seriously doubt Mindy would be asking him for an honest boob-placement opinion (“They’re as great as they’re gonna be.”) if she saw him as an serious option. That’s a job for a gay husband.

The Mindy Project Whiskey Lee

A few of his “Think Like a Peter” tips may be misfires (i.e. don’t order whiskey to impress someone if it makes you gag), but we can all learn a few things about the dating battlefield here.

#1. You don’t owe anybody anything, ever.

Mindy must be desperate, since she’s lets Betsy – of all people – set her up. Phil is “nice” (“All coffee dates are with losers.”) in that he’s not mean. But he’s awkwardly familiar. He assumes he’s already in. In short, there’s no attraction. But Mindy feels locked in to dating him until he does something truly despicable. Would a Peter do that? You bet your ass he wouldn’t.

The Mindy Project The Wolf of Wall Street

“Did you learn nothing from Wolf of Wall Street”?

When not defending Jordan Belfort, Peter “dates everyone” and breaks if off once things start to sour. He holds Mindy’s phone hostage so she can’t half-heartedly reply to every one of Phil’s cloying texts (“He’ll think I’m mean – I obviously am, but no one can know!”), and suddenly she’s free. Then they go out looking for some tail. The moral is: if you meet someone and don’t hit it off, you’re not obligated to see them again. You’re not even obligated to give an explanation. There’s a difference between being selfish and existing to make other people comfortable.

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“You’re bad at this.” – The Mindy Project Recap

The Mindy Project You're Disgusting

The Mindy Project
Season 2, Episode 17: Be Cool
Season 2, Episode 18: Girl Crush
Posted by Sage

Hang those torches and pitchforks back up, Mindy-ans (grr!). Break-up aside, Danny is being framed for douchery by wonky episode order. “Girl Crush” was originally meant to air pre-kiss, so some scenes (and that opening montage of Mindy’s break-up wallowings) were added after the fact. And I assume it was too late to ditch the sister subplot. Check Messina’s hair – it’s two different lengths during the episode.

I just want to get that out of the way, because Danny’s “hey, there” thing with Sally Prentice and her not-meatball boobies tilts the in-the-right scales of Dandy’s break-up in Mindy’s direction. Hard. (Especially when “Girl Crush” had Mindy turning down a glossy dream job to stay loyal to her patients.) I wish “Be Cool” could have stood on its own. As it was, we had the most traumatic scene of the entire series followed immediately by some standard Shulman & Associates shenanigans. We weren’t ready! And what should have been a b-plot about still unrequited Danny trying to get over Mindy by dating someone new became HOW DARE YOU, SIR. YOUR RELATIONSHIP’S NOT EVEN COLD.

And what an exquisitely painful break-up it was.

Danny I'm sorry Mindy

I’m not on Danny’s side, per se. I don’t think we’re meant to be picking sides. But he’s so real to me and this decision so true to everything we know about him and, as misguided as it is, it rings of his respect for Mindy, his best and only friend. Maybe it’s his Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head, but Danny doesn’t think he deserves things. Mindy, god bless her, knows that she does. And she’s never apologized for her expectations. Danny “didn’t ask” to be her friend, but she paid that no mind. She took down his walls with a sledgehammer and then waltzed through the rubble with a friendship cake in hand, not one hair out of place. So what makes him think he knows better now?

The Mindy Project coward

Every poor schmuck who’s been on the Mindy end of this SAME conversation wishes she’d had the guts to respond this way. Mindy calls Danny out, like she always does. And now she knows for sure that he’s not ashamed of her. He doesn’t wish she were a 100-lb pharma-babe. The girl might change and the words might be different, but distancing himself is the Danny Castellano special. (Remember “You’ve Got Sext,” when he made Mindy be his pretend girlfriend to protect himself from a “crazy” lady who happened to be very nice and only interested in a casual relationship?) But it’s the same line that girls like Mindy, who don’t coast on tedious, photoshop looks, have been hearing forever. Girls like us have got to be funny and loud and friendly to get anyone to give us the time of day. But then you’re TOO funny, you’re TOO great to be around, you’re such a good FRIEND, and wouldn’t it be a shame to ruin that? It would have been better if he cheated on Mindy or stood her up for All -You-Can-Eat Sushi or made fun of her for following Prince George’s first royal baby tour or became an event planner or sold her stuff for drug money. At least then he wouldn’t be convinced he was just doing “the right thing.” Instead he’s punishing her. It’s her fault for getting so close. Maybe if she weren’t so important to him, they could really have something. He really is bad at this.

Would that we could just live in the first 5 minutes of “Be Cool” with clandestine kissing, morning-after smiles, and breaking news in the New York Post.

Danny staying at my place

Grumpy Danny is like my oxygen, but giddy relationship Danny is a close, close second. (“You sly dog!”) Have we ever seen him smile so unreservedly? Still, we can sense that something is a-brewing, even at Cute Callback Pancake Breakfast. He casually mentions something about their work environment “making it weird,” and Mindy closes her eyes and looks away for a moment. She had already been rehearsing various announcement scenarios in her head and now she has to hold back? They’re already moving at different speeds.

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