– Posted by Sage
I live by the philosophy that one’s birthday is actually a week-long affair. So even though I’ve been 30 (and flirty and thriving) for the past four days, it’s still all about me. I hearby bequeath you the same license for all of your Expulsion Days.
Earlier this week, I posted the first 15 of the 30 pop culture moments that explain why I am the way I am today. I now present Part 2, and suggest you try this exercise for yourself. Making a list like this is what I imagine therapy would be if it were cheap, fun, and punctuated by gifs.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Still my very favorite Jim Carey movie (yes, including Eternal Sunshine) and still able to reduce me to teary giggles. I begged and begged my parents to let me see it after it first came out, but was continually shut down. Then I broke my leg on the ice, got a cast up to my thigh and had to sleep on the couch and sponge-bathe myself in the bathroom sink. The silver linings to that cloud were: firstly, that cookie bouquets were having their moment and secondly, that I was finally given permission to watch this movie.
And oh, the joy it brought me in my pitiful state! The “instant replay;” the double-pane-sound-proof glass opera; the Siegfried/Roy dolphin routine; a young and adorable Courtney Cox; and yes, an original theme song courtesy of rapper/thespian Tone Loc. If you have teenage relatives you haven’t shown this to yet, do it now and be their hero.
To be clear: I’m talking about the books here. The films are lovely, to be sure. I say a little prayer of thanks everyday for the casting, in particular. But I’ll never forgive those filmmakers for their crimes against the source material, namely the manufactured Harry/Hermione tension and the complete destruction of Ginny Weasley’s character. (“AND THE SHAFTING OF REMUS LUPIN, ONE OF THE GREATEST CHARACTERS EVER.” – K)
But really, was there a better feeling than picking up that gorgeous new edition at a midnight book party? You were holding a non-alcoholic butterbeer in one hand and thumbing through it with another while waiting in line to pay, trying to decide if you would race through to see what happens or really savor it. You snorted at Harry’s snarkiness (another character detail left out of the movies, boo); flailed over every Ron/Hermione close call; held your breath through every “Deathly Hallows” battle scene; and, if you’re anything like me, sobbed when Dumbledore weakly said, “I am not scared, Harry. I am with you.”
I cringe when any other YA series is compared to this, because there has never been a global community of all ages like the one brought together by HP. (Don’t say Twilight, because I don’t mean a community of submissive weirdos.) We were all a part of the journey, and J.K. Rowling acknowledged that with her final dedication:
“and to you, if you have stuck with Harry to the very end.”
When I first watchedMoulin Rouge, it was like stepping from Kansas into Oz. Like seeing color for the first time. This is my answer when asked about my favorite film. I wrote my frickin’ thesis on it. I just really love this movie, okay?
We were learning about auteur theory in film class when I decided to spend a whole semester studying Baz Luhrmann. He is the very DEFINITION of an auteur – his vision is so clear and dramatic and creative as hell. I loved the idea of conceptualizing film as theater. He does this throughout his “Red Curtain Trilogy,” which also includes William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet and his first film, Strictly Ballroom. ICYMI, Moulin Rouge is an adaptation of the Orpheus myth, with elements of opera, Bollywood, pop music, burlesque, classic musical theater, etc, etc thrown in. Therefore, when people describe his style as “MTV” or “smashcut,” I want to punch their faces. Sooooo hard.
Also: how, in the name of the narcoleptic Argentinean, were Baz AND Ewan BOTH snubbed by the Oscars that year? Where’s the justice?!
I’m obnoxiously proud of my quick mouse skills and ability to elbow my way into things that sell out in a matter of minutes. Without them, I wouldn’t have been at the 2012 New Yorker Festival’s Arrested Development reunion, where Mitch Hurwitz and the cast announced the unprecedented new Netflix-only season. The collective gasp in the room was priceless. Here was the return of a show that the cast loved as much as the fans, so much so that all of them were willing to put their other projects on hold to come back home to AD.
The show was often criticized (by stupid people) for being inaccessible (now, where have I heard that since?), but I didn’t start watching until the middle of the second season and it was still one of the most hilarious things I’d ever seen on TV. You don’t have to be a TV historian to know that David Cross slamming into a glass coffee table dressed as an elderly English woman is funny. What “inaccessible” REALLY means is that Arrested is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s exhaustively detailed, so every rewatch results in new understanding of old jokes and eyes opening to the ones that you hadn’t noticed yet, but were there all the time.
All 13 new episodes will be released on Netflix at THE SAME TIME, so take a personal day and meet me at my house for frozen bananas, unlimited juice, and an AD marathon. This party’s gonna be off the hook.
If you truly love boy bands, you don’t love them in spite of ridiculousness like this. You love them BECAUSE of ridiculousness like this.
David Tennant’s performance in “Christmas Invasion”
I am in love with Doctor Who.
But back in Season 1 of the modern series, we were just in like. I made my way through it leisurely. It was a perfectly healthy relationship and we kept an appropriate emotional distance.
Then Rose Tyler absorbed the time vortex, and Nine died so that Ten could live. I met MY Doctor, and now not even sunlight could get between us. The moment I pledged my life to this series was when Ten was pleading the case of the human race to the Sycorax and realized he was actually reciting the lyrics to “Circle of Life.” There is no possible way to resist his precious face in this scene, science has proven it.
Besides saving the Earth, Ten’s main duty in this episode is to convince Rose to trust and love him again. The side effects of that onslaught of charm and adorable is that every other person who bears witness to it is also dumbstruck by his Time Lord magnetism. We’re all victims here, folks. That’s why we call them “life ruiners.”
I was a touch offended when Go On dissed female alt-rock this week. I’m a veteran of two Lilith Fairs (the good ones, not the recent reboot), because those ladies just spoke to an awkward, 15-year-old white girl.
Singer-songwriters still dominate my playlists, but now they’re mostly dudes. Give me a little Mraz, a little DeGraw, a little Mayer (yes, still). Maybe it means that I’ve lost touch with my sisters, or maybe we just don’t have this visible of a platform for these kinds of artists anymore. If there were a magic button and would replace Rihanna with Letters to Cleo in recent music history, I would totally press that button.