“Sing out Louise!!” – A #SmashBash Gif Cap

My thoughts whenever I turn on the TV for Smash. I’m a masochist.

Posted by Kim

#SmashBash 2×04

“The Song”

The show we love to hate lives on for another week!  We’re gif-capping while we still can, because seriously y’all.  The ratings.  I think the only thing that is keeping Smash on the air is the fact that NBC doesn’t have anything ELSE at this point, and it will likely get a boost when The Voice returns later in March (as will struggling sitcoms Go On and The New Normal).

While “The Song” wasn’t QUITE as rage inducing as last week’s episode, “The Dramaturg” (still not over it), I had plenty of moments of feelings that could only be expressed in gifs (especially Tyra Banks ones).   So let’s get to it, shall we?

“The Big Bad Wills” Oh look! You made a funny Derek! #no

Can we take another moment to discuss the HUGE loft that Jimmy and Kyle manage to rent on bartending Wages and being struggling composers? They must be the best Bartenders in the city.

“How fast can you get into Manhattan?”

(I think this is what Karen thinks happens on the G Train)

Yes, Julia, clearly a writer would be coming in to SPEAK at a acting class.

I’m just gonna copy and paste my tweet from when Jimmy got mad that Tom didn’t like his songs: “OH MY GOD BROOKLYN JIMMY ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING SASS YOU ARE A NOBODY. #SmashBash #aloneinmyprinciples”

Julia’s outrage at people critiquing her book for Bombshell

(Did she never take a writing class?  Cause that’s what YOU DO.  You read your stuff out loud and then get freaking FEEDBACK. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!)

Apparently the entire company of Bombshell has nothing to do but be in Veronica’s show.

“Scotch. Weed. Coke. Just Space.” Oh Brooklyn Jimmy, you are soooooooooooo dark and tortured.

Yzma photo disney1.gif

“Sondheim wrote ‘Send in the Clowns’ in one night. Tom and Julia wrote “Don’t Forget Me” in less than that.”

Because obviously Tom and Julia are on par with Stephen Sondheim.

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“I love you and I like you.” – Parks and Recreation Recap


Leslie Ann wedding dress
Parks and Recreation
Season 5, Episode 14: Leslie and Ben
– Posted by Sage

“So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows… but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you’re enjoying your life, and the next you’re wondering how you ever lived without them. “

The heartfelt and off-the-cuff ceremony Tom Haverford conducted for Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt was lovely and all, but it would have been even better if he had kept just one quote from the modern classic Hitch in there. After all, nobody knows more about the matters of the heart than that guy.

In fact, Ben’s gorgeous self-written vows are practically a paraphrasing of this little truth nugget. Ben is the Hitch of our small-town story, someone who just going about his business, not expecting to get smacked right in the face with true love. And that makes Chris Traeger our Kevin James? Or something. I haven’t worked it all out yet.

Anyway, I cried. You cried. Even Ron cried, possibly into a vat of hot, liquid metal. “Ben and Leslie” was 22 minutes of television to heal the evils of a world gone mad and mend all our broken spirits. It was a bombardment of effortlessly moving moments. Just as you crested one wave of feels, another broke right over it: Leslie calls her wedding dress “the most beautiful object” she’s ever seen and thus, “the Ann Perkins of dresses;” Donna sings Leslie down the aisle; Chris gives Ben the mounted letter commemorating their assignment to Pawnee, where they “both found home”, and so on. Over and over again, we’ve watched the group rally around Leslie, occasionally to protect, usually to support. This time, it was to celebrate her. It’s all about the bride and you know it.

Leslie is a force of nature. She’s driven, Type-A, and egotistical in the best possible way. It takes someone who demands that life bend to her to accomplish so much and connect so many people in the way that Leslie has. And everything she’s got, she’s got to share. So there’s just no question that her friends are going to scavenge through the “jewelry and nails” tray at the pawn shop or interrupt Ethel Beavers’ hot date to pull this wedding off. Because of his simplicity, Andy can often be the most insightful member of the group. Before he re-dedicates Lil’ Sebastian’s memorial song to the happy couple, he honors Leslie for being the reason that each one of them was not only in the room that day, but also in that place in their individual lives.

Ron and Leslie wedding speech

I’m still reeling from the exhausting and nasty attempts at comedy that were on parade at Sunday’s Oscars. What’s getting even older is the implication that people (like yours truly) who don’t find these boring, offensive jokes recycled from the trashcan in the Two and a Half Men writers room funny don’t understand comedy or are just plain humorless. Nein. It’s just that, if comedy is your job, I expect you to put a little work in. Luckily, some people are. Parks, Community, New Girl, and the dearly departed Ben and Kate have all succeeded in making nice funny. Take a line like this one, when Leslie is insisting that Ron give her away: “I lost my father when I was 10, I don’t have any brothers, and Ken Burns never wrote me back.” This is writing, you guys. In 20 words, this joke tells a story, gets a laugh, and put a big ol’ tear in your eye. And another, this one courtesy mostly of our actors: During the ceremony, April mock-complains about the schmaltziness of the proceedings, and Ben turns around and gives her this LOOK, as if to say, “I love you, you little brat.” And she smiles. And it was just such a tiny, exquisite moment about how all of these people accept each other for who they are. It gave me chills, I swear.

This episode was written to serve as the series finale if NBC didn’t come to its senses and order a back nine. And it would have been a great one. But thankfully, Parks lives to fight another day and to further ruin our lives with words and faces like these.

I love you and I like you Leslie Ben

Random Thoughts/B-Stories:

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YOLO Dark Thirty: My Life In Pop Culture So Far, Part 2

Thirty and flirty and thriving

– Posted by Sage

I live by the philosophy that one’s birthday is actually a week-long affair. So even though I’ve been 30 (and flirty and thriving) for the past four days, it’s still all about me. I hearby bequeath you the same license for all of your Expulsion Days.

Earlier this week, I posted the first 15 of the 30 pop culture moments that explain why I am the way I am today. I now present Part 2, and suggest you try this exercise for yourself. Making a list like this is what I imagine therapy would be if it were cheap, fun, and punctuated by gifs.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Still my very favorite Jim Carey movie (yes, including Eternal Sunshine) and still able to reduce me to teary giggles. I begged and begged my parents to let me see it after it first came out, but was continually shut down. Then I broke my leg on the ice, got a cast up to my thigh and had to sleep on the couch and sponge-bathe myself in the bathroom sink. The silver linings to that cloud were: firstly, that cookie bouquets were having their moment and secondly, that I was finally given permission to watch this movie.

And oh, the joy it brought me in my pitiful state! The “instant replay;” the double-pane-sound-proof glass opera; the Siegfried/Roy dolphin routine; a young and adorable Courtney Cox; and yes, an original theme song courtesy of rapper/thespian Tone Loc. If you have teenage relatives you haven’t shown this to yet, do it now and be their hero.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter books

To be clear: I’m talking about the books here. The films are lovely, to be sure. I say a little prayer of thanks everyday for the casting, in particular. But I’ll never forgive those filmmakers for their crimes against the source material, namely the manufactured Harry/Hermione tension and the complete destruction of Ginny Weasley’s character. (“AND THE SHAFTING OF REMUS LUPIN, ONE OF THE GREATEST CHARACTERS EVER.” – K)

But really, was there a better feeling than picking up that gorgeous new edition at a midnight book party? You were holding a non-alcoholic butterbeer in one hand and thumbing through it with another while waiting in line to pay, trying to decide if you would race through to see what happens or really savor it. You snorted at Harry’s snarkiness (another character detail left out of the movies, boo); flailed over every Ron/Hermione close call; held your breath through every “Deathly Hallows” battle scene; and, if you’re anything like me, sobbed when Dumbledore weakly said, “I am not scared, Harry. I am with you.”

I cringe when any other YA series is compared to this, because there has never been a global community of all ages like the one brought together by HP. (Don’t say Twilight, because I don’t mean a community of submissive weirdos.) We were all a part of the journey, and J.K. Rowling acknowledged that with her final dedication:

“and to you, if you have stuck with Harry to the very end.”

Moulin Rouge

Moulin Rouge Come What May

When I first watchedMoulin Rouge, it was like stepping from Kansas into Oz. Like seeing color for the first time. This is my answer when asked about my favorite film. I wrote my frickin’ thesis on it. I just really love this movie, okay?

We were learning about auteur theory in film class when I decided to spend a whole semester studying Baz Luhrmann. He is the very DEFINITION of an auteur – his vision is so clear and dramatic and creative as hell. I loved the idea of conceptualizing film as theater. He does this throughout his “Red Curtain Trilogy,” which also includes William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet and his first film, Strictly Ballroom. ICYMI, Moulin Rouge is an adaptation of the Orpheus myth, with elements of opera, Bollywood, pop music, burlesque, classic musical theater, etc, etc thrown in. Therefore, when people describe his style as “MTV” or “smashcut,” I want to punch their faces. Sooooo hard.

Also: how, in the name of the narcoleptic Argentinean, were Baz AND Ewan BOTH snubbed by the Oscars that year? Where’s the justice?!

Arrested Development

Buster Bluth

I’m obnoxiously proud of my quick mouse skills and ability to elbow my way into things that sell out in a matter of minutes. Without them, I wouldn’t have been at the 2012 New Yorker Festival’s Arrested Development reunion, where Mitch Hurwitz and the cast announced the unprecedented new Netflix-only season. The collective gasp in the room was priceless. Here was the return of a show that the cast loved as much as the fans, so much so that all of them were willing to put their other projects on hold to come back home to AD.

The show was often criticized (by stupid people) for being inaccessible (now, where have I heard that since?), but I didn’t start watching until the middle of the second season and it was still one of the most hilarious things I’d ever seen on TV. You don’t have to be a TV historian to know that David Cross slamming into a glass coffee table dressed as an elderly English woman is funny. What “inaccessible” REALLY means is that Arrested is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s exhaustively detailed, so every rewatch results in new understanding of old jokes and eyes opening to the ones that you hadn’t noticed yet, but were there all the time.

All 13 new episodes will be released on Netflix at THE SAME TIME, so take a personal day and meet me at my house for frozen bananas, unlimited juice, and an AD marathon. This party’s gonna be off the hook.

Boy Bands

If you truly love boy bands, you don’t love them in spite of ridiculousness like this. You love them BECAUSE of ridiculousness like this.

David Tennant’s performance in “Christmas Invasion”

Ten did you miss me

I am in love with Doctor Who.

But back in Season 1 of the modern series, we were just in like. I made my way through it leisurely. It was a perfectly healthy relationship and we kept an appropriate emotional distance.

Then Rose Tyler absorbed the time vortex, and Nine died so that Ten could live. I met MY Doctor, and now not even sunlight could get between us. The moment I pledged my life to this series was when Ten was pleading the case of the human race to the Sycorax and realized he was actually reciting the lyrics to “Circle of Life.” There is no possible way to resist his precious face in this scene, science has proven it.

Besides saving the Earth, Ten’s main duty in this episode is to convince Rose to trust and love him again. The side effects of that onslaught of charm and adorable is that every other person who bears witness to it is also dumbstruck by his Time Lord magnetism. We’re all victims here, folks. That’s why we call them “life ruiners.”

Lilith Fair

I was a touch offended when Go On dissed female alt-rock this week. I’m a veteran of two Lilith Fairs (the good ones, not the recent reboot), because those ladies just spoke to an awkward, 15-year-old white girl.

Singer-songwriters still dominate my playlists, but now they’re mostly dudes. Give me a little Mraz, a little DeGraw, a little Mayer (yes, still). Maybe it means that I’ve lost touch with my sisters, or maybe we just don’t have this visible of a platform for these kinds of artists anymore. If there were a magic button and would replace Rihanna with Letters to Cleo in recent music history, I would totally press that button.

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Your Weekly Dose of Rose and the Doctor Feels – Playlist Post #15

Posted by Kim

It should surprise no one that Sage and I are big fans of the phenomenon known as WGWG (White Guy With Guitar).  WGWG fever is sweeping the nation…just look at the last five winners of American Idol (which at least one of them had no business winning, but that’s a rant for another post).  There’s just something about a (cute) guy with a guitar or a piano that stirs all sorts of adoration within the hearts of tweens (or tweens at heart like we are) everywhere.  I mean…WGWGs are always incredibly in touch with their emotions.  They write lovey-dovey songs or songs so filled with agony that you can’t HELP but cry over them.  And then want to snuggle the WGWG and take away all their pain.   So naturally, there are quite a few WGWG songs on our Rose and The Doctor playlist.  Let’s take a look at a few shall we?

“Love Comes Tumbling Down- Matt Nathanson

“All the stars above our heads
The faster they came
The faster they went
All the stars above our heads

Spin you round through the roar of this crowd tonight, tonight
Dance you round through the bones of this town until daylight comes
Hope, hope will put the colors in the sky
Hope, hope will set this world of wrong to right, to right
Love comes tumbling down”

This song makes me think of any moment that The Doctor completely gets bowled over by Rose.   This moment from “The Unquiet Dead” is the one that comes to mind…

The Doctor: Blimey!
Rose: Don’t laugh!
The Doctor: You look beautiful.
[Rose stops laughing and smiles instead. The Doctor looks away, awkwardly]
The Doctor: Considering.
Rose: Considering what?
The Doctor: That you’re human.

JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE.  So bowled over by her that he even the romantic comedy cliché giant swallow upon seeing her (though to quote Sage ” he did it an imperceptible, timelord-y way”).  And I love how he awkwardly tries to cover up how besotted he is by immediately insulting her species.   And then the way he extends his arm and says delightedly, “Ready for this? Here we go. History!”?  You aren’t fooling ANYONE, Doctor.  You are the very definition of “besotted”, sir.

“I Won’t Give Up” – Jason Mraz

“I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not, and who I am

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up, still looking up.”

The Doctor (hologram): This is Emergency Program One. Rose, now listen. This is important. If this message is activated then it can only mean one thing: we must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I’m dead, or about to die any second with no chance of escape—
Rose: No!
The Doctor (hologram): —and that’s okay. I hope it’s a good death. But I promised to look after you and that’s what I’m doing. The TARDIS is taking you home—
Rose: I won’t let you.
The Doctor (hologram): —And I bet you’re fussing and moaning now. Typical. But just hold on and listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Program One means I’m facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do: let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it, no one will even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years the world will move on and the box will be buried. And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That’s all. One thing. (The hologram turns to look at Rose.)  Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.

And then Rose Tyler, an ordinary shop girl from London, absorbs the heart of the TARDIS and the whole of the Time Vortex because she refuses to abandon her Doctor.  Because if there is one thing Rose Tyler never does, it is give up on The Doctor.  Even if it means dying.

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Looks Like No One Bothered to Wikipedia “Dramaturg” – A #SmashBash Gif-cap

Smash
Season 2, Episode 3: The Dramaturg
– Posted by Sage

Last Tuesday’s #SmashBash was preempted by the State of the Union, so we had two weeks to recover from that (ugh) 2 hour long season premiere. But the show we all love to hate watch is BACK. Time for a gif-cap!

Django mob

The episode starts with Karen imagining herself crowdsurfing and singing one of Brooklyn Jimmy’s songs to an adoring audience in what looks like an airplane hangar, clad in not much but a vintage S Club 7 crop top.

Enough Fat Amy

“This IS big, I promise.”

Bridesmaids you do

Of course, fresh-off-the-bus-from-Iowa Karen knows more about developing a new musical than the seasoned Broadway director.

“He’s a professional dramaturg.” Plucked from the minor leagues? Smash, you are written by theater people, yes? Than why, why, why, would you have Eileen describe a dramaturg as someone who fixes shows? People get DEGREES in dramaturgy. They are real artists who provide vital literary, historical, and cultural research through the development process of a show. A DRAMATURG IS NOT A SCRIPT DOCTOR.

Lion King angry

Oh hey, Bernie Telsey! Make a star out of our Ivy, why don’t you?

 Joe Jonas waving

Derek’s sexiness continues to be one of the remaining saving graces of this series.

SNL Jesus made me perfect

First JHud’s character gets papped after a show like she’s Lindsay Lohan stumbling out of the Chateau Marmont, now she gets to pick her own director?

Birdcage laugh

“People hear that you have a dramaturg, and the rumor gets out that the show’s in trouble.” THIS IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY TRUE.

President Bartlet thinks you're wrong

Dramaturgs are allowed to take credit FOR THE WORK THAT THEY DO ON SHOWS, IT’S THEIR JOB.

Johnny Weir Are you stupid

“The guy’s probably just being polite to a star, anyway.”

Madonna A League Of Their Own

Karen was the understudy in an out-of-town tryout of a show that lost its financing and didn’t move to Broadway. But “star,” yeah, okay.

This new credits sequence is…aggressive.

Liz Lemon you need to cool it

“It was Boston.” This show has a vendetta against dramaturgs and Boston.

Tennant and Tate sideeye

This sack dress of Julia’s is hardly an improvement on last season’s matronly blanket-scarf collection.

Jonas Brothers we hate this

“You look like the crazy dude from A Beautiful Mind.” Look at Jimmy pulling out those timely pop culture references.

Daniel Radcliffe I tried

Jennifer Hudson’s acting though.

Mallificent judging you

Karen singing “Moving the Line.”

AVPM covering ears

Ivy singing “Moving the Line.”

Praise the Lord

“If you don’t want to do the work, then I’ll find someone who will.” THANK YOU.

Tom ooooh gurl

Ivy comes to meet Derek in a rehearsal studio and is suprised to find him…in rehearsal.

Miss Hannigan do I hear singing

“Contrary to the way this looks, I am not sleeping with this woman.” I think this guy might be pretty gross.

Bobby Company ugh

“Or, maybe you concentrated on DiMaggio because you were in love with the actor who played him.” Yep, definitely gross. That’s none of your business, Daniel Sunjata.

Kelly Kapowski hair flip

And then he touches her. The evil dramaturg gets to invade Julia personal space and accuse her of being frigid. She has to tell him about her affair and failed marriage to prove that she knows “heat.” And we’re supposed to think he’s bringing some kind of insight and honesty to this whole process. He’s going to teach her some kind of lesson about getting in touch with her inner woman. Smash, what are you doing? A. QUIT SLANDERING DRAMATURGS. B. WHY DO YOU HATE YOUR FEMALE CHARACTERS?

Sesame Street No
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YOLO Dark Thirty: My Life In Pop Culture So Far, Part 1

Abed likes liking things
– Posted by Sage

I’m turning 30 tomorrow. And I’m embracing it! Why not? It’s been a decent 29 years, full of friends, family, and fandoms. Kim challenged me to meet this birthday with a list of 30 pop culture moments that have defined me in my first three decades. After all, I’ve been fangirling for things as long as I can remember. So on this the last day of my 20s, I’m reflecting on my life so far in liking things. If this seems self-indulgent, that’s because it is, but it’s my party and I’ll navelgaze if I want to. On to Part 1:

The Chipmunk Adventure

My obsession with The Chipmunks was a precursor to my love of (human) boy bands. I was into it all: the dolls, the books, the cassette tapes, the TV series…But the peak of the ’80s Chipmunk phenomenon had to be the feature-length film costarring their female counterparts, The Chipettes.  It. Is. Flawless.

You remember this, right? The Chipmunks and Chipettes lie to their respective guardians to embark on an around-the-world hot air balloon race financed by two villainous (and weirdly incestuous) German siblings who just happen to be international jewel thieves. They sing and dance their way across the globe and eventually save the day, obviously. My dad and I quote this movie to each other on a regular basis (“You see! I don’t even know where the Louvre is!”) and the theme song still makes me weep.

The Pride and Prejudice 1995 BBC Miniseries

Mr Darcy proposal

As a Pride and Prejudice junkie, I consider this version the DEFINITIVE adaptation.  First of all, there will never be a better cast Darcy and Lizzie than Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. And clocking in at 5 hours, the miniseries is able to include every moment of the book I love so much. (Plus a gratuitous Firth wet shirt scene that very much was not in the book. But I don’t hear anyone complaining.) I don’t take kindly to feature-length Austen films and their drastic cuts, thank you very much. This miniseries converted me from a casual fan to a full-fledged Jane snob, and I’m fine with it.

Newsies

Newsies thrust

I came by Newsies relatively late in life. I was halfway through high school before my friends sat me down and introduced me to the best movie Christian Bale’s ever made. In the late 90s, it was still hard to get a hold of it. The soundtrack was out of print and there were no plans for a DVD version. I’m not sure what studio execs thought teenage girls WOULDN’T like about cute boys singing and pelvic thrusting all over a Universal backlot. But I like to think it was girls like my friends and I who showed Disney that there was a huge demand for this notorious flop to get another chance. And now look: it’s 2013, Christian Bale is an international star, and the Broadway musical version sells out every night. You’re welcome, everyone.

Annie

Annie The sun'll come out tomorrow

I made my parents rent this for me at least once a week. I still don’t understand why they didn’t just buy it.

Contrary to popular belief, not every little girl who worshipped this movie dreamed of being the title character. I was singing “Let’s Go to the Movies” into a hairbrush and determined to grow up to be Anne Reinking – all fabulous legs and flowy skirts. I’m still waiting.

Jonas Brothers – “Burning Up” Video

Joe and Big Rob Burning Up video

This is one of those fandoms where I can remember the EXACT moment that everything went off the rails. I was reading an Entertainment Weekly and they included this song and video in their Must List. Out of curiosity and a misplaced trust in EW, I sought it out on OnDemand. And that’s what I would think back to when I was shelling out hundreds of dollars for World Tour tickets; calling off work to sit behind the dugout at Road Dogs games; and getting manhandled by throngs of aggressive teenage girls. I don’t regret a second.

Disney’s Halloween Treat

DHT was the ULTIMATE in clip shows, with all the best funny, scary-funny, and scary-scary Disney villain moments in one special. The only downside was that Night of the Living Dead immediately followed it on our VHS tape, so I had to get up and race across the room to eject it because I was terrified of even seeing the opening credits.

Dead Poets Society

Dead Poets Society words and ideas can change

As a kid, I had a habit of flipping through cable channels and watching any movie that was just starting, no matter what it was. That’s how I ended up sobbing on my bedroom floor after the last scene of Dead Poets Society. I was so invested in Mr. Keating and his students  – “Seize the day, boys,” and all that jazz. And then my world fell apart. It was the first movie I had ever seen that didn’t have a happy ending. I felt confused and betrayed by Hollywood, which had always assured me that everything would be worked out by the credits. But the second time I watched it I was prepared, and learned to wallow pleasantly in the exquisite tragedy. And if there’s anything you need to enjoy to be a fangirl, it’s tragedy.

I would have probably had an easier time dealing with the feelings had the internet been around with its abundance of Neil/Todd fic.

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