Little White Lies – Scandal Gif-Cap

give me an oh yeah

Scandal Season 5, Episode 2
Posted by Sage

Just when you thought our Scandal gif-caps couldn’t get any more absurd, Kim dared me to do my first one of season 5 entirely in One Direction gifs. And seeing as I never back down from a challenge that involves me sifting through hundreds of moving images of the cherubic face of Harry Styles, here that gif-cap is, in all its glory. Scandal: season 5, episode 2. Take it away, boys.

“With that seductress Olivia Pope distracting him, with a body made for…” Calm down, Sally. Everybody’s body is made for that.

“Liv. Liv. Everything is going to be okay.” Fitz and Olivia’s relationship has just been outed to the entire world and he leaves her alone the second after it happens. Still a fuck-nugget, I see.

“So you’re telling me this leak is internal.” NOT THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW, FITZ.

“The leak is really not the issue…There’s blood in the water. We’re going to need a statement. We’re going to need a game plan. We’re going to need…a bigger boat.” This. This is what Abby Whelan has been training for. Shine, Abby, shine.

“If a statement is being made, Olivia and I are making it together.” Someone please assassinate him, already.

“It’s Liv, she’s the best in the business. The president’s about to get Poped.” 

“She will not be able to hide.” She’s just gotta keep moving, is all.

“Put the gun away. They’re reporters, not assassins.” Huck is about to splatter a tabloid journalist all over the conference room, but sure, Jake “fixed” him.

“I need to work.” Liv wants a case to calm her nerves and restore some normalcy.

chill out

“Well for starters, I am here so you can apologize to me.” MELLIE.

“She’s not just a mistress now. She’s America’s mistress. History will preserve her as such.” There are worse things. Ask Marilyn Monroe. Or don’t…okay, there aren’t worse things.

harry princess

“It was smart. Risky, but smart.” The president thinks Mellie did it because he’s a reactive, close-minded idiot.

“They make Senator Grant look weak and frigid and sexless and like she can’t keep a man. And we both know America will never elect a woman who can’t get laid.” I want to establish an American monarchy just so Mellie Grant can be queen.

“David’s here!” And surely will make no personal or professional gain from cleaning up everyone else’s mess.

“This whole situation is a load of malarkey and doo-doo.” Susan is here to defend the president’s honor, but he’s got nothing left to defend.

“That Olivia is in the wind and she took the strings with her…she handled it wrong. I want the puppet to dance.” Lizzie Bear is flying blind without Olivia’s advice on this one.

“Lay off, Perkins, he’s here to help.” Quinn is still mad at Huck, because mass murders do take some time to process.

“How does a guy facing a murder charge even get bail?” “By being rich and white.” 

The case-of-the-week is to find Gavin Price, aka G-Preezy, a spoiled brat who was arrested for the murder of his father and then ran.

“You don’t say no to Liv. Besides, she took my car keys.”

“Right now, you are no better than some two-bit, bus stop divorce attorney.” David gets no respect. No respect at all, I tell ya.

“You got it, Ruthie.” Olivia and Huck track Gavin’s father’s watch to a pawn shop.

“Table’s ice cold.” “Hopefully I can warm it up.” Liv finds Gavin at a nearby casino and cuffs his weak, posh-boy ankle to the stool.

“My plan just arrived.” “Nice to see you.” JAAAAAAAKE.

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“I’m not a human, just a spectacle.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

Scandal Season 5, Episode 1
“Heavy is the Head”
Posted by Kim

Greetings, Gladiators!  Can you believe it’s our third season gif-capping Scandal? How time flies!  Where were we?  Oh, yes.  Papa Pope has been vanquished.  Mellie is now a senator.  Fitz has kicked her out of the house.  Cyrus has been fired and Lizzie Bear has his job.  Quinn tortured Huck.  Oh yeah…Olivia and Fitz are together for reals.  Ugh.  I keep telling myself that its Scandal and their happiness will be short-lived.  It’s a comfort.  To the gifs!!

“Lovers of liberty, good evening…” Sally Langston still has her TV show which would be the worst show I would watch EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

Sally’s monologue is intercut with Fitz and Olivia doing it.  Sigh.

“It’s a story and not a very original one at that.” Sure, Sally is talking about Princess Emily of Caledonia, an American who married a prince, but she may as well be talking about Olitz too.

Liv’s dress for the State Dinner though. 

“Yes, let’s start an international incident.” “Yes let’s.” Calm yourself, Fitz.  Your wang can wait a few hours.

Eye sexing all across the room during the state dinner. UGH. 

“They can’t have a state dinner without the First Lady of the United States!” But they CAN with the First Mistress, Mellie.

“The President didn’t call you the minute he kicked Mellie out?”  Abby, bless her, is trying to engage in some girl talk and Liv isn’t giving her ANYTHING.

“One day you’re a regular person and the next you’re the most famous person on the planet.” 

Emily comes out of the stall and as awkward as the situation is, I can really only focus on her fierce eyebrow game. 

“I stopped being a real person.” 

“I’m not human, just a spectacle.” 

Later that night, Liv gets called away from Fitz’s bed because of an emergency.  She arrives at the scene of an accident. Princess Emily’s body lies uncovered, very very very dead, with her tiara in the road. Subtlety, thy name is not Scandal.  Honestly, this scene felt a little icky.

The Queen is shady AF. 

“I know you can’t save her life, Olivia, but perhaps you can save her dignity.” 

Liv tries to get all the photos by telling all the papers they are better than this. 

When all but one paper gives up the goods, Liv stages a photo-op of Richard crying over Emily’s body to give the papers something else to run. 

“She was and always will be America’s Princess.” 

It turns out that Emily’s car was sabotaged.  This is now a murder investigation. 

“There are limits to my power.”  “I’ve seen what you can do with your power, David.” 

Mellie storms into Lizzie Bear’s office.  “You will guarantee that the President shows up for his wife.”

“Why did you betray me after everything I did for you?” 

“You only do anything for your own benefit.” 

“I was your bitch.” 

“Your payment is that I got you elected.” 

“The President regrets to inform you that he is unable to attend your little swearing in.” Way harsh, Lizzie Bear.

“Are you saying we committed regicide to cover-up a flu and a life choice?” Abby has lost her patience trying to explain Mellie and Cyrus to the press.

Liv ducks and hides from Abby so she won’t see her at the White House. FRIENDSHIP.

“You can’t summon me here for lunch.” Good to know Liv still has some of her spine.

“Don’t LIV me.” 

“You owe her this.” LIV STANDING UP FOR MELLIE. Tell me again why they can’t be the power team?

Fitz DOES go to the swearing in because he’s whipped. Or afraid of Liv. I choose the latter.

“I’m glad you came around.”  Instead of being nice, all Fitz has to offer is a bitch face.

Fitz serves Mellie with divorce papers. 

“I’ll never sign.” Okay, part of me wants Mellie to sign so she can just BE FREE but the other part doesn’t want her to give Fitz the satisfaction.

“You have so many qualities I despise but I do admire your brilliance.” 

“My bucket list is done. You? Your biggest accomplishment so far is waving and smiling.”

“Until you actually fire me I’d like to be able to do my job.” Abby has no time for all this fuckery, she has a country to run.

“I thought you’d be happy. You don’t look happy.” IDK, Fitz, maybe consult Olivia before you decide to go off-book from your carefully established plan?

It turns out that the Princess was having an affair with her bodyguard. Which would naturally make SOMEONE in the Royal Family want to kill her.

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Ain’t Life Grand? – Scandal Gif-Cap

this is absurd

Scandal Season 4, Episode 22
“You Can’t Take Command”
Posted by Sage

A thousand apologies for leaving you alone with season 4’s penultimate outing, Gladiators. But we’re back with another rollercoaster of a Scandal finale. Shondaland gave us plenty of twists and turns to mull over all summer, plus the toxic reunion I’ve been dreading. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

“Please! I am not Mr. Bainbridge…to you…” I see what you did there, Rowan.

lord of the underworld

“You have set quite an example for my daughter, I will tell you that.” This is so twisted and cruel. I love it.

filch we are in trouble

“Does it interest you?” Rowan/Mr. Bainbridge hands Mellie a folder of photos of Mellie and Andrew bonin’, plus the particulars of Fitz’s participation in Remington.

ron not interested

“You don’t ask me who I am, Mrs. Grant. You ask me what I need.”

i own you hercules

“You’ll go down. Your husband will go down. It will be a bloodbath.” Rowan needs a list of names. Mellie seems ready to comply.

being realistic

Jake is about to testify about Remington in the B6-13 hearing. Good luck with that, you gorgeous target.

good idea gosling

“You tell the truth. You tell the whole truth. No matter what happens, no matter who gets hurt.” I just…do they really think they’re going to win this?

same mistake breaking bad

“Susan is a national treasure.” TRUE. And of course Liv realized that before anyone else.

you saw me princess diaries

“And congratulations on the Brandon bill. That…is the man I voted for.” Congratulations on doing your job that one time in eight goddamn years.

we're the bestest harry

The entire grand jury (and their bus driver) has been executed. That was the list of names that Mellie gave Rowan.

take a look around

“Normally, I’d be all white hat, woo-hoo. But I got a call from Oregon. The court stenographer, Faye? That’s her name, Faye. She knits hideous scarves that I have to wear so I don’t hurt her feelings. Faye was killed by a hit and run driver while out walking her dog. Except she doesn’t have a dog.” Everyone involved in this trial is at risk or already dead. Message, received.

brooklyn break those

“And while I live for justice, I don’t wanna die for it.” What kind of attitude is that, Rosen??

disney don't  be a wuss

“I need you to keep your mouth shut, can you do that?” Lizzy Bear is the only other person on the planet besides Mellie and Rowan who knows the role Mellie played in the murder of the jurors.

pay you to stop talking sleepy

“Cyrus? I killed those grand jurors.” Until she tells Cyrus, that is. The guilt, my friends. She is weighing on our Mellie.

joey i'm sorry

“No, DON’T hug me. I’m sick of being comforted. I’m sick of fighting and losing.” “Don’t Touch Me” is a complete and separate emotion.

ugly child

“I go where you go.” “It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do. I’m still trapped. I’m still his prisoner.” Liv tells Jake that she wants Rowan dead. She’s had enough of looking over her shoulder.

going mad simon firefly

“You got that ‘I been in the hole’ look all on your face.” Olivia goes to see her mom for help.

always good looking

“Did you father and I not tell you you were special enough when you were little? Did we not give you enough hugs?” Marie says Olivia needs to come back down from her “uppity world.”

don't be a hater dear ahs

“Are you going to tell your teammate you added slaughter to your resume?” Mellie did it for THEM though. HOW IS IT WORSE THAN ANYTHING FITZ AND CYRUS HAVE DONE? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

i'm so confused 21 jump street

“I’ll take care of it.” “You will?” “I will.” I doubt it.

pretending to look busy lou

“Forgive me, Miss Pope. But that must be one of the most preposterous things I’ve ever heard.” Jake and Liv meet with the director of the FBI to talk B6-13. Jake takes credit for all their work.

it crowd jennifer laughing

“B6-13 is real. And I think from that look in your eye that you already knew that.”

six feet under full of shit

Rowan tells Cyrus that he’s done him favors. Not killing Rosen was one. Thanks for that at least, you monster.

i'm happy oliver

“Well, it stops now. I am having this Rowan arrested brought in and brought down. I won’t have it.” I appreciate this lady’s tenacity, but…

office how it works

“Honey, I’m gonna call you honey because I can’t remember your first name and I don’t care: Honey, you wanna be reasonable about this. Because a shadow intelligence organization operating quite happily in power and in secrets for decades inside the FBI, the CIA and the NSA, if there was such a thing, well that would be like a sleeping lion. And isn’t it safer to tiptoe around the lion? What do you think happens when you poke the lion? Whose face does the lion rip off first? I think it rips off Honey’s face first.” CYRUS.

community excuse me

Director Lowery’s people grabs Jake and Liv. They throw them in jail.

miss piggy opening bars

“Mostly though, I’d like to thank my wife….and maybe if you’re as flawed a person as I am, you start taking them for granted.” Fitz gives a toast to Mellie’s victory. He’s all over her dick right now, because Fitz likes to be associated with winners.

million teddy bears parks

“Losing a child. Most people never recover from that. It destroys families, upends marriages. Not ours. Her love, her friendship means anything. As a team, we’ve never been stronger. So please, join me in raising a glass. To my best friend.” 

2015 it's time

“Rosen, why would I fire you? You’re the Attorney General. MY Attorney General.” Cyrus’s voice is all soft and scary. Run, David, run.

bridesmaids ran as fast

“With you, David, I already know your pressure point. You only have one: Abby.” *Record scratch*

aziz confused


“Though, if something were to happen to her. Suicide. Aneurysm. Car accident.” “You can’t threaten me like that.” “Actually, I can.” LEAVE RED ALONE 2K15.

don't touch horse head

“You want me to recant?” “On signing this document, you will be free to leave this room.” Rosen visits Jake and Liv in prison. He forces them to sign a document stating that they’ll disavow all knowledge of B6-13.

i thought we were friends rdj

“So much for being the good guys, huh, Rosen?”

human world it's a mess

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From Rowan With Love – Scandal Gif-Cap

scandal hope you don't

Scandal Season 4, Episode 20
“First Lady Sings The Blues”
Posted by Sage

Nothing like the exquisite chaos of the last few episodes of a Scandal season. Let’s get straight to the gifs.

Quinn comes into the OPA office early morning, turns on the lights, puts on the coffee, and sees Jake bleeding out. “Oh, they got you. Oh, I let them get you.” WELL, that’s one way to open an episode.

worst thing parks

“Still warm.” “Warm enough?” Huck slams Jake on the chest without warning. He wakes up. JAKE BALLARD IS GONNA LIVE FOREVER.

broad city omg yes

“If Jake goes to a hospital, a digital trail is created.”  Dirty warehouse, it is!

minority report

“It’s coming, it’s all coming. You guys called me ten minutes ago!” Charlie provides a safe house and a sketchy mob doctor. Charlie’s a genuine part of the team now, which is weird but not unpleasant.

doctor who got a gang

“Mrs. Grant, you already have a job.” Mellie is starting her campaign for Senator in Virginia and the sexist bullshit has already begun pouring in.

stay out of it nick

“How deeply insulting – not just to our intelligence, to the people of Virginia. And to all the gracious and patriotic first ladies who quietly and proudly served our great nation before her.” Sally Langston is running her mouth and someone’s gotta put a stop to it.

girlfriends female fight club

Also, remember when First Ladies had cute nicknames like “Ladybird”? Can we bring that back?

“Somebody always dying.” So, sketchy mob doctor = not exactly a cheery gig.

grim reaper ahs

“Pretty lady looks familiar.” The doctor tries to talk about Olivia in front of her. Olivia schools him by responding in fluent Russian.

chris evans smack

louis peasants

“You help my friend, I help yours.” Sketchy Mob Doctor is tight with a Russian assassin who Olivia and others presumed dead. Black Sable is her code name. Also a really nice defining shade for a classic smokey eye.

help me help you jerry

“Now you, scared man with glasses…” Will can always answer to that.

broad city baked a whole cake

“These days it’s Mary…Mary Peterson. Come on in, I just baked cookies.” Olivia and Huck find Black Sable, but she’s not exactly the kind of woman they were expecting.

hobbit right house

“Growing up, we were poor. Not American poor. My little brother starved to death because we didn’t have any food: Russian poor.”

haunted mine snl

“Why would I say no to that? It was the greatest thing that every happened to me.” Mary became an assassin out of necessity. It pulled her out of poverty, even though she never saw her family again.

belle snl

“The people telling me who to kill stopped telling me who to kill.” But why didn’t she go to like, Fiji or something? Escape to Washington DC? Be the FBI’s next-door neighbor? Great plan, Nana. REAL GREAT. 

loki tell me

“Putin’s hit the re-start button.” It’s on this puppy.

putin puppy

Mary’s been contacted about a job. She doesn’t know what it is, but she fears for her life if she doesn’t do it.

Sally has gotten the nation all riled up about Mellie’s run. Now they think there’s a conflict of interest because Mellie is “sleeping with the president.” Heeeeyyyyy.

best song ever harry zayn

Except the only thing more frigid than Fitz and Mellie’s marriage was my dead, black heart before I discovered Harry Styles.

“First Lady is not a job, it’s a title.” Can’t be accurately called a job if this is what you do all day:

first lady eat your vegetables

“I wanna hear what Abby has to say.”

bitch me too

“You need to distance yourself from your husband.” I’m listening.

first lady dancing

“So, Mellie Grant’s run for Senate is legal because of misogyny. In this instance, misogyny is our friend.” Abby calls David to find out if the haters have a point. In this case, the haters are our friends.

gaston women reading

“Quinn, we need blood.” Quinn ties up some techs and raids a blood bank for Jake. Aw, guys. We got some real camaraderie happening happening over here.

fringe cotton candy

David is giving a phone interview with the talking head show while overseeing the warehouse with Jake. Huck watches Mary’s handler make the drop.

pretty serious

“Blood!” “Blood?”

blood shining

“Ballard has been eliminated.” “Untrue.” Rowan, is Mycroft aware that you’re boring the Diogenes Club?

diogenes club

“Then find him, and cut the thread.” Fly, my pretties.

hercules thread won't cut

“You’ll get busy and use my body in any way you want, however many times that you want. Conversation optional.” Russell booty calls Olivia in an attempt to keep her on the line and trace her phone. I hate it when that happens. Men, amirite?

fist me orphan black

“Does she buy meat here?” Mary’s handler is a butcher. Olivia goes to his place of business to intimidate him, but he’s got jokes.

it crowd motherflippin

“Some people have bark, some people have bite, I have both.”

new girl celebrate me

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“Justice or career? I can only get you one.” – Scandal Gif-cap

Scandal Season 4, Episode 19
“I’m Just a Bill”
Posted by Kim

God GOD, this was a jam-packed episode, Gladiators.  Halfway through my initial viewing, I texted Sage wailing that everyone was speechifying and I couldn’t keep up.  Episodes like “I’m Just a Bill” exemplify everything we LOVE about Scandal.  It had intrigue, monologues that were delivered as if they were operatic arias, and one HELL of a shocker at the end.  Why am I still talking?  Let’s get to the gifs!

Papa Pope pours himself a giant glass of wine as if he wasn’t a monster who terrorized his own daughter and currently has a gun strapped to his back.

“I see you have a few more locks, that’s good.” I love that he is making light of his daughter’s post-traumatic stress syndrome.  Totally awesome.

“Since you’re a “fixer”,  I thought I would come to you.”

“Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?” I love how everything Rowan says just drips with condescension and barely concealed malice.

“I’m just a paleontologist who works at the Smithsonian!”

“I’m just giving you a chance. One chance.”

“I don’t care about any of that. I care about justice!” WHITE HATS.

“Is your hatred for me so great that you are willing to tear him down too?” Clearly.

“Did he disappoint you? Did you learn that he’s only human after all?” I mean he’s right, but I hate that Rowan is painting Liv’s righteous fury as the actions of a scorned woman.

“You want to dig into some Freud baby?”

“All men in fact are just like your father.”

“It is your friends who do not know you. You are a warrior.” I mean I am PRETTY sure the Gladiators know that.  It’s why they are fucking called Gladiators.

“You will burn it down and then never look back.”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Liv.  Poison though it may be.”

“Thank you for the wine, Olivia.” And then we see that Russell is tied up behind the couch.  Just a typical night, you know.

Liv laughing over Russell’s body as he comes to.  “I think we had a little too much to drink.”

“If that’s the cost of taking out my father, yes.” David wants to fast track the case against B613 before Rowan kills all the witnesses.  Liv is on board because she gives no fucks anymore.

Cy campaigning for votes on the Brandon Bill, which was inspired by the events that transpired in “The Lawn Chair”. 

Meanwhile, in other ways to tie the events of “The Lawn Chair” into the rest of the seasonal arc, Marcus Walker (the activist who led the protests) is leading the D.C. mayoral race.

Liv gets a call from Marcus.  She shows up at the CURRENT mayor’s house to find him and the dead body of the Mayor’s wife, who he was having an affair with.  Because there are NO good people on Scandal.

“You were never here.” Liv and the Gladiators assess the situation and all their options and choose to mop up the scene, dispose of the body, and call it a missing persons case until they know what’s going on.

The vote on the bill is tied so they have to call in Vice President (and political unicorn) Susan Ross to break the tie.

Susan is presiding over a spelling bee and refuses to leave until the last word is spelled.

Susan says she has to read the bill before she votes on it. “I won’t vote on something I haven’t read, Cyrus.”  At least someone in this town has a modicum of integrity.

“What should we do with the body?” “Dealer’s choice.” “Really? Thanks, Huck.” That’s quite enough with the foreplay over dead bodies, Huckleberry Quinn.

“I know this is hard for you. Prison is harder.”

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Daddy’s Home. – Scandal Gif-Cap

scandal do not lie

Scandal Season 4, Episode 18
“Honor Thy Father”

Posted by Sage

Happy Easter, Gladiators! Have we got a second coming for you. Let’s get straight to the gifs.

“I can’t. This is my death warrant. You understand? I sign this, I die. We’re all gonna die. So, Jake, are we gonna die, or…??

peggy carter death

“We are taking down Command, and you were once Command too.” Jake won’t testify against B6-13, so David Rosen thinks it might be a good idea to threaten him.

hp riddickulus

So Jake shoves David’s face into his own desk.

“Charlie?” “Max!” Charlie “accidentally” bumps into an old friend, who’s also former B6-13.

who is this guy cap

Team White Hat is rounding up former agents to testify. This will go well, I’m sure.

“They’re credited with 37 assassinations, from Hamburg to Grenada.” “Yeah, but some of those were bombings.” “So?” “So, that’s cheating.” Do not have sex with this man again, Quinn.

grey's anatomy legs closed

David gives away the whole plan for the witnesses – safe house, immunity, secret grand jury – unaware that Jake is listening in.

barry fake smile

“You shout. In your sleep. About a red door and a ring. In other languages.” Olivia’s mustachioed piece of ass’s name is actually Franklin Russell, and they are still doin’ it.

winston falling in love

“You don’t have to call me ANYTHING.” “Here’s the thing, Alex. I don’t think it is.” He’s known all along that Olivia is using a fake name too.

chandler big secret

“She was 14 when things started between them. 14. He was 29.” Olivia meets with Congressman Reed, whose sister killed herself after her affair with her math teacher went south. His father then confessed to killing that math teacher. I’m mostly impressed that Reed managed to get elected with a family member on death row.

qaf surprise

“Should have been more. Should have emptied that entire gun into the son of a bitch.” Reed has been making appeals, but Fitz rejected his plea for a stay of execution. Republicans.

chappelle fuck em

“Maybe he wishes he killed the guy. I don’t…I don’t know.” Mr. Square Jaw did it and we all know it.

think you're kidding

“When’s the last time you went to church?” “You are down south, honey. You are in church right now.” Lizzie Bear is looking way out of place doing her thing as Mellie’s campaign manager and interviewing a voter in a kitschy BBQ joint. It’s rather delightful.

chris delighted

“Haven’t talked to that girl in a long time. Folks always ask, ‘why are you still so loyal to her?’  You know, after everything. And I understand that, I do. But you know why? ‘Cause she’s family. And I always got her back. You tell her that for me.” Delightful southern-fried voter is Mellie’s SISTER. EVEN BETTER.

lion king side eye

“Mellie, she smiles, she’s polite. But right under the surface, she is 50 shades of angry. I saw it.” Half-sister actually. And she’s piiiiiisssed.

several things harry potter

“Make her an ‘us.'” Sucking up to Harmony (HARMONY) is last on Mellie’s list of things she wants to do, right after bra-fittings with Olivia.

freaks i don't need

“Let me tell you: once you’ve stood on a dollhouse in your little girl’s closet and tried to lift her lifeless body with one hand and loosen the noose around her neck with the other, you’re not alive any more anyway.” Oh.

god isn't listening

“I’m gonna make sure you walk out of here a free man.” A lost cause! Olivia’s favorite.

x-files give up on a miracle

“Who’s up for charades?” Charlie wants to turn the former B6-13 agents’ hideout into a summer camp for assassins. Everyone else just wants to sit quietly and contemplate their looming deaths.

comfy silence mia

“There’s a strange wind. It’s too warm. It’s coming, it’s scary.” Cyrus has a horse in the Harmony race because of course he does.

chris evans laughing

“Team FitzMel or MelFitz whatever, it’ll be over.” Fitz will get all ashamed about Mellie’s issues with Harmony (because he doesn’t do ~lady feelings~) and stop supporting Mellie’s run. Cyrus is the puppet master.

kitty lion

“You look…festive.” “How’s it going with that prostitute of yours you got mixed up with?”

boy word for slut

“He’s like a stormchaser in a van hurling down the highway, but he’s pressed up against the windshield, grinning wildly, waiting for everything to go to hell and wanting to be there when it does.”


qaf brian fucking teenagers

“Do you wanna know what I would have done if that was my kid?” “No.” Just write it in your journal, Huck.

agent may knife

“I was 16. It was awful. He was awful.” Dead-ass math teacher had quite a few conquests in his day.

kimmy googling you

And his ex-wife died of natural causes a few weeks prior. Well, that’s convenient.

tennant shocked

Charlie gets back to the safehouse and everyone is dead. Except Max, who’s just dying. Jake is standing among the bodies, and he and Charlie go at it.

fob stop fighting

“If she doesn’t toughen up, she’ll never make it through a campaign. Whether I’m standing by her side or not.” Mellie is like mother-fuckin’ TEFLON, you son of a bitch.

bacall smoking

“We got this, Rosen. You can go.” “Well, if you’re sure.” “Mr. Peabody” is released from body clean-up, so…

orphan black mimosas

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“You see me for what I am.” – Scandal Gif-Cap

I love weddings

Scandal Season 4, Episode 17
“Put a Ring on It.”
Posted by Kim

It’s been so long since Cyrus has had the central story I TOTALLY forgot that he was in a sham relationship with a prostitute.  Whoops.   To the gifs!

Liv is dreaming about Fitz and about throwing the ring in his face and running in the hallway. 

bad feeling star wars

There’s some sort of late night emergency and you know what that means…GLADIATORS ASSEMBLE! Discuss in the comments who is who.

As he hustles to meet with the Gladiators, Cyrus breaks the family portrait of him and James with their (strangely absent this season) daughter. 

Michael was very indiscreet at a bar and got caught in a “compromising” position. 

Michael’s photos are all over the tabloids. 

The only way to diffuse the crisis is for Cy and Michael to get married post-haste. 

“It sounds like a shotgun wedding!” “It is and you’re the pregnant bride.” 

“There is no bigger stage. There is no bigger moment.” 

“I can’t bother the President with my hooker troubles.” 

“A Gay Republican White House Wedding.” Please tell me that was printed on the invitations.

Liv convinces Mellie to host the wedding. 

Quinn and Huck pay off the bartender to tell the reporters that it was just Michael’s bachelor party. 

By hosting the wedding, Mellie can make a break away from her husband’s beliefs, which will gain her votes in her senate race. BECAUSE OF COURSE FITZ DOESN’T BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE.

“Love is love.”  Mellie for President!

“You’re doing great out there.” Leo’s subtext is “I’m going to take you home after this and do naughty things to you.”

We flashback to Cyrus proposing to his girlfriend Janet but all I can focus on is his wig. 

“I am Catholic. I have been saving myself. I can’t get divorced like those girls from Holyoke.”

“I hear we’re running a kooky wedding service out of the White House.” 

Fitz finds out Liv is behind the wedding planning and does the only thing he can do…look constipated.

“The President’s views remain unchanged.” BECAUSE HE IS THE WORST.

“Do I have to be here for this? I have a country to run.” At least we’re admitting that Cyrus is in charge of the country now.

Cyrus tells Michael to stop whining about his parents having to come to the wedding. Put on your big boy underpants, dude, this is all your fault anyway.

On Cyrus’ wedding day we see him and his best man/racquetball buddy/lover. “Happily married men don’t play.”

Sally Langston has her own talking head show because of course she does. 

Sally proclaims that everything about Cyrus and Michael’s relationship is a lie. She also publicly offers 10K for anyone who can substantiate her claim.

“There is a word for you, Sally.” 

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“The United States of Kink” – Scandal Gif-Cap

you're olivia pope

Season 4, Episode 16
“It’s Good to Be Kink”
Posted by Sage

Lena and her wig are having a moment. I’m so glad this episode fell on my turn. Let’s gif busy. (You heard me.)

“I did nothing illegal…I’m human. I’m a man.” “You’re disgusting.” Leo did a thing. A thing that Abby finds “disgusting.” With a lady, perhaps?

held hands scott pilgrim

“You’re not a saint. I’ve been between the sheets with you. You’ve taught me some things.” This is not the right route to take in this argument Leo. Abort. Abort.

oh god always sunny

“I will take care of it…I AM IN CHARGE NOW.” And you should always be, Ms. Whelan.

august eat your fish

“Some woman…who slept with a large swatch of DC power players.” “Claims to have slept.””It’s not fake. You saw the part about the guy she calls the ‘Dustbuster’?” OH, YOU LIKE IT LIKE THAT, DO YOU, LEO? Has anyone fanfic-ed this chapter of Sue’s memoir yet?

wolf of wall street

“I need you to stop this book. I need you to shut it down.” Booooooo.

shutting this bitch down

“Oh my god, you’re Olivia Pope. Hold on, am I in trouble?” It’s Lena Dunham in some horse hair pigtails! And she might liked to be punished.

be more professional the office

“I mean, define ‘violate,’ for you.” Her delivery of this was very Shoshanna.

sherlock stick to the facts

“Make that book disappear from the planet.” Do we have to round up the guys? Please say we have to round up the guys.

crazy capers newsradio

“Thank you, Liv. I’ll have Leo send over a check.” “Tell him it’s on the house.” I feel like this is the only time I’ve heard mention of OPA actually getting paid for their work.

doctor who that's a first

“I need immunity from prosecution.” Huck demands immunity from David as they go after B6-13. He won’t give up his family again.

shaggy it wasn't me

“Where have you been?” “Dentist.” “The DENTIST.” Lie better, Huck.

amy headdesk

“I grew. I came here to tell you in person that I won’t publish the book. If you give me 3 million dollars.” Yesssss, play the game, Sue.

i know things cookie

“You mean a ‘whore’? When did you become so weak?” Well, this got interesting.

a hypocrite silver linings

“The power you wield in this town, Olivia, it’s legend. You used to exude it. It came out of every pore. It gave other women a contact high. So I must admit I’m a little disappointed by your behavior towards me.”

damsel in distress hercules

“As if picking up a hot stranger in a bar for a dirty screw is a crime…I’m not ashamed.”

the weird stuff dr horrible

“I stood in this office and I promised Clarence Burk a change.” Fitz thinks he can get mandatory body cams for police officers through a Republican Congress. Also, he’s actually President-ing. This is new.

what is happening ru paul

“I’m running for senator of Virginia.” Sign me up for the United States of MELLIE.

mindy now we're talkin

“Wow, that’s history making. Good for you and good for Virginia.”

you win forever josh hutcherson

Mellie wants Leo to run her campaign (smart lady); Abby makes up some bullshit reason why he’s not available, leaving out the words “dust” and “buster.”

“But she’s most active on Land-O-Kink.” “Two million members and counting.” “The United States of Kink.” OPA logs in to sift through the guys on the database.

an adult fresh prince

“To keep it from being hacked? That’s old school. Respect.” Sue typed her manuscript on a typewriter and Huck is impressed.

fist pound it crown

“Hi, Colt?” “You must be Sue.” Quinn and Huck send Sue out on a date with CHARLIE. Also, “COLT”?

oh shit spiderman

“I’d tie your arms to the rafters then I’d nail your feet to the floor.” Um, pass?

reasonable hour friends

“Mentally, she’s a mess. She carries her gun with her everywhere she goes. Won’t go out at night. Won’t even order take-out. I have no idea how she’s surviving.” Fitz and Jake have creepy boys nights where they gossip about Olivia’s fragile mental state.

i don't know why friends

Time for a “reading the book” montage! Let’s meet Sue’s conquests.

gentlemen donna parks

“Joystick.” “Thruster.” “Sit and Spin.” You forgot one.

heliocopter dick lonely island

“Only one left: The Doctor.” HE WOULD.

what do you think doctor who

*Only the “this is my dick” gif would have been appropriate here.

“It’s not his occupation, it’s his initials. D.R, Liv. D.R.” David Rosen also tripped the Sue Fantastic. I need all of the details.

broad city happiest day

“I was dead inside, I needed to feel.” “DISGUSTING.” But really, poor Abby. Two dudes she’s been in serious, real relationships with.

don't tell me you're sorry

“Let me remind you: after your little failed coup. You work for me. Your time is my time. So get your ass off the swings. Get up on the hill. Get me my votes. Understood?” Cyrus has Lizzy Bear in his pocket and he’s putting her to work on body cams. Could be a worse mission though.

things happening doctor who

“Gentlemen, please, if you’ll just calm down.” OPA gathers all of the men Sue wrote about. If they each contribute $175,000, they can buy the book. There’s a lot of yelling and people being VERY IMPORTANT.

start a fight whose line

“You think this is funny, Bergen.” “A little.” Never leave me, Leo.

cinderella story why i love you

“STILL IN.” Just stay here forever.

quite fond flash

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